Cleveland Amory Quotations

The customer is always right! John Wanamaker must be turning in his grave. If you're a customer today, you're an intruder.

I told the good Father that if he and I were going in the future to some wonderful Elysian Field and the animals were not going to go anywhere, that was all the more reason to give them a little better shake in the one life they did have.

I detest professional anythings but particularly professional writers. Most of them today are just garbage collectors.

In my day the schools taught two things, love of country and penmanship-now they don't teach either.

Every damn President since I can remember has been so in love with foreign policy that they're just like a schoolboy with a new girl.

Have you ever heard one civilized person whose opinion you respect, at any time, anywhere, in any civilized country anywhere, say the good new days?

People ask me what makes a good funeral, and I tell them the most important thing is your man in the casket. If you have a man of substance in there, you have the makings of a first-class funeral.

A "good" family, it seems, is one that used to be better.

Giving the cat a name, like marriage, is not an easy thing. Soon I experienced the selection of name for a baby, a dog, a book, a warship, a sports team, even the king, the pope or a hurricane is just child's play compared to the selection of the cat's name.

I can't take a well-tanned person seriously.