Dear Abbey Quotations

A church is a hospital for sinners, not a museum for saints.

True, a little learning is a dangerous thing, but it still beats total ignorance.

The less you talk, the more you're listened to.

If we could sell our experiences for what they cost us, we'd all be millionaires.

Religion, like water, may be free, but when they pipe it to you, you've got to help pay for the piping. And the piper.

If you want children to keep their feet on the ground, put some responsibility on their shoulders.

It is true that I was born in Iowa, but I can't speak for my twin sister.

People who fight fire with fire usually end up with ashes.

It is a sad commentary of our times when our young must seek advice and counsel from 'Dear Abby' instead of going to Mom and Dad.

Never give a golfer an ultimatum unless you're prepared to lose.

Many husbands today pitch in to help with household chores it's called partnership.

Never advise anyone to go to war or to get married.

If you are looking for a kindly, well-to-do older gentleman who is no longer interested in sex, take out an ad in The Wall Street Journal.

The lack of faith is not doubt. It is certainty.

Psychotherapy, unlike castor oil, which will work no matter how you get it down, is useless when forced on an uncooperative patient.

Many husbands today pitch in to help with household chores - it's called partnership.

In Biblical times, a man could have as many wives as he could afford. Just like today.

It is totally unconscionable to subject defenseless animals to mutilation and death, just so a company can be the first to market a new shade of nail polish or a new, improved laundry detergent. It's cruel, it's brutal, it's inhumane, and most people don't want it.

Then, there's the modern mother-in-law. In her mid 40s, she is the compact car of her breed: efficient, trim, attractive and in harmony with her times. She's pretty stiff competition for the plain young matron who's overweight and under-financed. If there is going to be friction in this relationship, it could start from envy and resentment in the younger woman. But Father Time is on her side, even if Mother Nature played her a dirty trick

SO the richest are often the poorest as this saying goes, "Loneliness is the ultimate poverty"

How should they answer?

There is no end to the undeserved misery and mischief it could create.

It's true, some wine improves with age. But only if the grapes were good in the first place.

Accept every blind date you can get, even with a girl who wears jeans. Maybe you can talk her out of them.

Believing that the dream of freedom, brotherhood, and peace for all mankind will someday come true.

I can't think of a more potent combination than God and a good lawyer.

Kissing power is stronger than will power: Girls need to "prove their love" like a moose needs a hat rack.

Cruel words erode the self-esteem like the ocean eats away the shore.

Some People are more turned on by money than they are by love. In one respect they're alike. They're both wonderful as long as they last.

Kissing power is stronger than will power.

Wisdom doesn't automatically come with old age. Nothing does - except wrinkles. It's true, some wines improve with age. But only if the grapes were good in the first place.

It is almost impossible to throw dirt on someone without getting a little on yourself

Kids grow up awfully fast these days,"she said. "You should try to have a good relationship with your kids, no matter what they do.

If you don't value what you have, you're sure to lose it.

I agree that marijuana laws are overdue for an overhaul. I also favor the medical use of marijuana -- if it's prescribed by a physician. I cannot understand why the federal government should interfere with the doctor-patient relationship, nor why it would ignore the will of a majority of voters who have legally approved such legislation.

The purpose of life is to amount to something and have it make some difference that you lived at all.

While forbidden fruit is said to taste sweeter, it usually spoils faster.

You could move.' ---"Dear Abby" responds to a reader who complained that a gay couple was moving in across the street and wanted to know what he could do to improve the quality of the neighborhood.

So yesterday you fell off the wagon? Or maybe you blew your diet? Or lost your temper and shot off your mouth? Well, that was yesterday. Today is a brand-new day with a clean slate, so forget yesterday!

Women who miscalculate are called mothers.

Loneliness is the ultimate poverty.

Fighting fire with fire only gets you ashes!

For many of us we are always wanting more - we would be happier if we had such and such. Maybe we should pause for a moment and hear what some people in the third world countries would like to make them happier. 1. Having enough to eat so when you go to sleep at night your stomach doesn't ach. 2. Having shoes on your feet and any kind of clothing to keep the cold out. 3. Having a roof over your head. 4. Having the hope that you'll be lucky enough to get some kind of an education. 5. Believing that the dream of freedom, brotherhood, and peace for all mankind will someday come true.

If you want a place in the sun, you have got to put up with a few blisters.

A bad habit never disappears miraculously, it's an undo-it-yourself project.

The best index to a person's character is how he treats people who can't do him any good, and how he treats people who can't fight back.

O, heavenly Father: we thank thee for food and remember the hungry. We thank thee for health and remember the sick. We thank thee for friends and remember the friendless. We thank thee for freedom and remember the enslaved. May these remembrances stir us to service, That thy gifts to us may be used for others. Amen.

You are what you are when nobody is looking.

Love is what enables us to bridge the gap of disappointment when others don't live up to the expectations we have of them.

Maturity is the ability to do a job whether you're supervised or not; finish a job once it's started; carry money without spending it; and the ability to bear an injustice without wanting to get even.

Fear less, hope more. Eat less, chew more. Talk less, say more. Hate less, love more...

If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them, and half as much money.