Erma Bombeck
Erma Bombeck
Erma Louise Bombeckwas an American humorist who achieved great popularity for her newspaper column that described suburban home life from the mid-1960s until the late 1990s. Bombeck also published 15 books, most of which became bestsellers. From 1965 to 1996, Erma Bombeck wrote over 4,000 newspaper columns, using broad and sometimes eloquent humor, chronicling the ordinary life of a midwestern suburban housewife. By the 1970s, her columns were read twice-weekly by 30 million readers of the 900 newspapers in the U.S...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionJournalist
Date of Birth21 February 1927
CityBellbrook, OH
CountryUnited States of America
Cleanliness is not next to godliness. It isn't even in the same neighborhood.
Cleanliness is not next to godliness. It isn't even in the same neighborhood. No one has ever gotten a religious experience out of removing burned-on cheese from the grill of the toaster oven.
Phrases and their actual meanings: "My teacher has never liked me." Expect a phone call before lunch from the teacher informing you that your child has been launching hot dogs by compressing them inside a small Thermos and then removing the lid quickly.
Just think of all those women on the Titanic who said, "No, thank you," to dessert that night. And for what!
Have you any idea how many kids it takes to turn off one light in the kitchen? Three. It takes one to say, "What light?" and two more to say, "I didn't turn it on.
I was going to have inner peace if I had to break a few heads to do it.
It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows.
All of us have moments in out lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.
Anybody who watches three games of football in a row should be declared brain dead.
I've been on a constant diet for the last two decades. I've lost a total of 789 pounds. BY all accounts, I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.
Dreams have but one owner at a time. That is why dreamers are lonely.
At some point in your life, if you're lucky, you throw practicality to the wind and start living.
My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.
Children make your life important.