Fred Allen Quotations | Page 2

Condensed milk is wonderful. I don't see how they can get a cow to sit down on those little cans.

Radio is called a medium because it is rare that anything is well done.

A human being is nothing but a story with skin around it.

The world is a grindstone and life is your nose

If criticism had any power to harm, the skunk would be extinct by now.

Television is a triumph of equipment over people, and the minds that control it are so small that you could put them in a gnat's navel with room left over for two caraway seeds and an agent's heart.

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

He dreamed he was eating shredded wheat and woke up to find the mattress half gone.

It is bad to suppress laughter. It goes back down and spreads to your hips.

A gentleman never strikes a lady with his hat on