Gary Larson Quotations

I think one thing that's important to maintain is a sense of fear, always doubting yourself... a good dose of insecurity helps your work in some ways.

I actually find a lot of parallels in jazz and cartooning.

I've always considered music stores to be the graveyards of musicians.

The message is not so much that the worms will inherit the Earth, but that all things play a role in nature, even the lowly worm.

This was more than just a cow - this was an entire career I was looking at.

The daily calendar seemed, to me, like a kind of cartoon black hole, and you didn't have to be a rocket scientist to know that that couldn't be sustained indefinitely. That's why I pulled the plug on that one after the '02 edition. Kind of a preemptive strike.

The Bluebird of Happiness long absent from his life, Ned is visited by the Chicken of Depression.

You should always leave the party 10 minutes before you actually do.

A long time ago, I became aware that many of us have a tendency to lump nature into simplistic categories, such as what we consider beautiful or ugly, important or unimportant. As human a thing as that is to do, I think it often leads us to misunderstand the respective roles of life forms and their interconnectedness.

Great moments in science: Einstein discovers that time is actually money.

Humans have changed ecosystems more rapidly and extensively than in any comparable period of time in human history, largely to meet rapidly growing demands for food, fresh water, timber, fiber and fuel. This has resulted in a substantial and largely irreversible loss in the diversity of life on Earth.

You know those little snow globes that you shake up? I always thought my brain was sort of like that. You know, where you just give it a shake and watch what comes out and shake it again. It's like that.

People try to look for deep meanings in my work. I want to say, 'They're just cartoons, folks. You laugh or you don't.' Gee, I sound shallow. But I don't react to current events or other stimuli. I don't read or watch TV to get ideas. My work is basically sitting down at the drawing table and getting silly.

On Career Day in high school, you don't walk around looking for the cartoon guy.

I think I'm maintaining the quality, but internally I'm paying for it.

I keep thinking someone's gonna show up and say, 'There's been a big mistake. The guy next door is supposed to be drawing the cartoon. Here's your shovel.'

My future plans are hazy, and I've yet to experience how much cartooning is in my blood and therefore how much I'll miss it. But I have some other interests, especially in music, and I will probably take the opportunity to delve into those things more deeply.

I just get silly inside my head and I start to think about something and in my head I start twisting it around, contorting it and envisioning it in different ways.

Every week when my batch of weekly cartoons would go to FedEx, it felt like a small miracle. Then in a few days, it's 'Here we go again.

Cartooning was a good fit for me. And yet now, years later, I almost never think about it.

We did our best to oversee the property, but it's an isolated site.

No one knows what the public school system is going to look like in 10 or 20Êyears, but we know it's moving toward being more innovative, more cutting edge or more designed to meeting the needs of individual students.

No one knows what the public school system is going to look like in 10 or 20 years, but we know it's moving toward being more innovative, more cutting edge or more designed to meeting the needs of individual students.

Suddenly, two bystanders stuck their heads inside the frame and ruined one of the funniest cartoons ever.

Just be careful how you put it back down, or you can wipe out a population the size of Manhattan.

When a charter school opens up, typically they are inundated with parents who wish to enroll their kids as well as with applications from public school teachers who wish to teach there, ... They have a tendency to grow very fast.

Unbeknownst to most historians, Einstein started down the road of professional basketball before an ankle injury diverted him to science

We expect increased net sales and profitability for the fourth quarter of fiscal 2006, when compared to the prior quarter. With our solid execution and the positive trends in our core business, we expect to close fiscal 2006 by reporting a significant increase in annual net sales over fiscal 2005. We also anticipate full-year profitability in 2006, which marks a dramatic improvement in our bottom line compared to the prior year.

We are going to fight this thing all the way. The district is breaking the law and it's breaking its word to treat students who attend charter schools fairly.

Even if today all the people they want to talk to are a short distance away, in the future that may not be the case.

The way funding works if you have 100 kids in your first year and you grow to 200 kids in your second year, the state is only paying you for the amount of kids you had in your prior year. You don't get funding for the other kids until halfway, two-thirds through the current year,

the threads that connect us to other living things. Newspapers will run a headline: 'Shark kills human.' You never see a headline from the other perspective: 'Man swims in shark-infested water, forgets he's shark food.'

You're seeing a shift within the charter school movement. The first 10 years were about creating choices for parents. The second decade is a focus on identifying successful models and replicating them as quickly as possible.

This could be setting a trend here. With this school, you have a gifted curriculum, but they're not limiting it to traditionally defined gifted students. That's where you get a truly innovative model.

For all intents and purposes, we've reached an agreement. It's just a matter of signing the document.

Its clear that as long as this demand continues, then charter schools will continue to thrive,

It obviously presents a concern. I think that the answer is for people to be very cautious about writing and communicating with anyone they don't know.

It was an older building. It was in need of work. There are significant parking problems. We had the opportunity to move into a new building that was built according to state-of-the-art environmental standards.

Wait a minute! This is grass! We've been eating grass!

The idea for any cartoon (my experience, anyway) is rarely spontaneous. Good ideas usually evolve out of pretty lame ones, and vice versa.

I get a couple cups of coffee into me and weird things just start to happen.

I don't know where my ideas come from. I will admit, however, that one key ingredient is caffeine. I get a couple cups of coffee into me and weird things just start to happen.

Of course, living in an all-glass house has its disadvantages...but you should see the birds smack it.

Theme-park approach to nature. We judge plants and animals by whether they're entertaining to us. We gravitate toward animals and plants that are big, dramatic, beautiful and at eye-level.

The great thing about this jungle of ours is that anyone of you could grow up to be Lord of the apes.

Things can be low on the food chain, but that doesn't mean they're lowly...

Man Swims in Shark Infested Waters, Forgets He's Shark Food.

He has been known by many names: Lucifer, Beelzabub, Belial, the Prince of Lies, Satan, and at a party once an obnoxious drunk kept calling him "Dude."

If a tree falls in the woods, and nobody is around to hear it, and it hits a mime, does anyone care?

The fuel light's on, Frank! We're all going to die! Wait, wait... Oh, my mistake - that's the intercom light.

Thunderstick?... You actually said, 'Thunderstick?'... That, my friend is a Winchester 30.06.

What is that mountain goat doing way up here in the clouds?

I never liked my own species.

I never liked my own species. On why so many of his comics are about animals, in an interview.

The problem, Mr. Fudd, is that you've been having a sublimal effect on everyone in the factory. We're proud of our product, Mr. Fudd, and there's no company in the world that build a finer skwoo dwivuh. ... Dang! Now you got me doing it!

It is a known fact that the sheep that give us steel wool have no natural enemies.

Hot oil! We need hot oil!... Forget the water balloons!

Charters give public school teachers the flexibility to design programs to the individual student needs. They no longer have to go to a distant bureaucracy to ask for permission. By being allowed to make their own decisions the teachers are able to create strong partnerships with parents.

The picture's pretty bleak, gentlemen... The world's climates are changing, the mammals are taking over, and we all have a brain about the size of a walnut.

You always hear a headline like this, 'Man Killed By Shark', you never hear it from the other perspective, 'Man Swims in Shark Infested Waters, Forgets He's Shark Food'.

By the time they had diminished from 50 to 8, the other dwarves began to suspect 'Hungry'...

I don't believe in the concept of hell, but if I did I would think of it as filled with people who were cruel to animals.

We judge plants and animals by whether they're entertaining to us. We...