Joan Rivers Quotations | Page 3

My career is as an actress. I am an actress playing a comedienne.

I've always been salaried; I've never owned anything. I've done very well, lived very well.

I would not want to live if I could not perform. It's in my will. I am not to be revived unless I can do an hour of stand-up.

I will work as hard as I do because I love it.

You've gotta understand - when you interview someone, it's not an interrogation. It's not the Nuremberg Trials.

Reading should be a pleasure, not a chore.

It's like, God, I'm in my 80s. Nobody, when I die, is going to say, 'How young?' They're going to say she had a great ride.

I just get such a connection from an audience. You play with them. I get mad at them. I yell at them. They yell at me. It's just fun.

What makes me laugh is, of course, the absurd, the horror - anything that upsets me.

You can find my book at your favorite bookstore, and if it isn't there, find a new favorite.