Melissa McCarthy Quotations

Part of being young is you think gaining 6 lbs. is the end of the world.

Even when someone gets to looking like she should be so proud of herself, instead she's like, 'I could be another three pounds less; I could be a little taller and have bigger lips.

I am not a princess, I don't want to be referred to as a princess - I find that super creepy.

Comedy to me is all about the bumps and bruises and weird tics.

Everybody's a train wreck in their own very special way. But there's something wildly freeing about someone who's unapologetic, who knows they're a wreck and doesn't even try to hide it, just bulldozes through life.

I just think we tear down women in this country for all these superficial reasons, and women are so great and strong.

When I believe in something, I'm like a dog with a bone.

As a teenager I went all Goth, but I wasn't mopey enough. I would pretend to be, but I'd end up making people laugh.

I don't really know why I'm not thinner than I am.

I watch HGTV like a maniac, and when it's bad, it's like some crazy college guy watching a football game.

I went to school for clothing and textiles and thought this is what I was going to do. Then I started working in costumes and literally said, 'I don't know if I can take the actors.'

I have an overactive sense of justice. I want women to realize you don't have to work for the company. You can run the company. I want the scope for them to be endless.

To me, having 500 rolls of fabric around is the most calming thing in the world. I think it's what football is to some guys.

I could eat healthier; I could drink less.

I think everything that any actor does, I would assume, is shaped by how and where they grew up.

I'm always tinkering with something - suddenly I'll think I can work with wood, but then I'll realize I can't, so I go back to sewing.

I have blocks of wood all over my house; I spend all of my day knocking!

Funny is funny, and it can come in 8 billion different shades and flavors, so I think it's silly to kind of limit it.

Sometimes I wish I were just magically a size 6 and I never had to give it a single thought.

My back was just destroyed after pregnancy. I almost had to have surgery, until I did Pilates and rebuilt my body.

I believe in Heaven. I don't believe that this is it, and then we're done.

I don't know any neighborhoods where everyone's walking around in seven-inch heels and perfect makeup.

I think the reason I'm an actress is because I love playing kind of a more extreme people.

I'm certainly not shy, but I like playing it because I love those characters that are incredibly confident but really still a mess.

We're a weird bunch at 'Mike & Molly.' We go to work, and we're crazy about each other, and we love where we go to work.

There are a lot of funny women in my life. I never understand those movies where there's eight funny guys and two women who don't have any opinion or humour.

Since grade school, I focused on women's clothing.

One of the best parts of a woman's body is that curve, and I go a little bit higher on all of my things to show off the best part of the hourglass.

More eccentric characters can push pretty far, but if you stay on the side of reality, it's always funnier.

I have caught my reflection and thought, 'Oof. That girl is struggling. That girl is tired.' I've had mornings where I'm like, 'Oh God, I have weird hair.'

I have experience dressing me as a 6, a 12, and more. And when you go above a size 12, you don't lose your love of fashion.

I didn't really know how to write jokes, so I just told weird, long stories about being tall and beautiful and wealthy in New York. I'd tell them very seriously, but I kind of looked like a drag queen at the time with big wigs and crazy 12-inch platform heels.

I didn't wear jeans for, like, a decade of my life.

I'm a huge 'Ghostbusters' fan. I've seen it, like, 10,000 times, so I couldn't be more looking forward to a reboot.

I love a woman who's solid in her shoes.

I feel like I got hit with a lucky stick.

I did nothing but dramas for seven years in New York. I didn't really start anything comedic until I moved out to L.A. and found The Groundlings.

I did not actually run down a deer for 'Tammy,' I promise.

I don't sleep, but I've got two little kids that don't sleep, either.

I was always Missy, never Melissa. I went to college, and I thought it was so much more interesting to go by a different name, and then it just kind of stuck.

I will embarrass my kids to their core. I will threaten to show up in hot pants and a tube top. Their dad will drive me. And he'll let me and my friend Lisa get pretty drunk in the backseat, and we will come into that party and just rip it up.

I think the whole reason I act is because it's much more fun to be somebody else. I'm pretty boring.

I think there's so many points of view that you want to make sure your stories are being told from men and women... you get all of the different backgrounds. You don't want every story being told from the same point of view. So just for better storytelling, I'm like, 'Yes, please, bring some more ladies on.'

I think there are people who really love the comfort of their small town, and there are people who feel stuck by it.

Jason Statham is funny, I never knew that.

My parents are kind and accepting. Because so many of my friends were gay, it was just an accepted thing in my house. I was very lucky.

I wore white kabuki makeup, had blue-black hair. At one point, I shaved an inch and a half around my hairline and continued the white makeup up so it made my head look slightly deformed. I thought it was hilarious.

I was only a bridesmaid for my sister, and it was very calm and small, so I didn't have any tragedy.

I was never sullen. I was a terrible punk - I was still so chatty.

I would love to be directed by more women.

When I was 22, I met with some janky manager, and she told me, 'You're never going to work at this weight.' I think I was a size 6 at the time. There is just this weird thing about how we perceive women in this country. I would love to be a part of breaking that down.

We have some of the most rock-solid, lovely friends in the world.

When I go shopping, most of the time I'm disappointed.

When I went to college, I did clothing and textiles. It really wasn't until I moved to New York, my second night in, I did stand-up. I took a wild left turn, and instead of going back and finishing school at FIT, I started doing stand-up and acting.

When someone really believes in what they're saying, but it's crazy, it's, like, my favorite thing on earth.

Famous doesn't mean anything. Just because people know my face doesn't mean they know us or that it makes us any more interesting or better.

When I read a character that I really, really love, I know immediately what they look like. It's like I want to 100 percent become that person.

Ben and I live like hermits. The night of a concert, we'll be like, 'Do you think we can get tickets?' And everybody is like, 'No, why didn't you do this earlier?'

Ben and I have absolutely nothing to do with the Hollywood that's all actors and the Sunset Strip. We crave talking to people who do different things and are passionate about it.

I see teenagers or people who are 21 and think, 'I was an idiot at that age.' I was running around New York like a crazy woman. Thank God I only had three and a half cents to my name. I was too immature to handle success then.

I should be learning another language and working out more, but I'm just always saying, 'Ah, I could get hit by a bus tomorrow.'

I've been trying to play old-lady parts since I was in my 20s, so I look forward to all of that.

I've been every size in the world. Parts of my twenties, I was in great shape, but I didn't appreciate it. 'If I was a 6 or an 8,' I thought, 'Why aren't I a 2 or a 4?'

I've watched women being hideously unattractive, personality-wise and physically, all the time. But these women never end up on screen.

I've never been interested in playing the boring ingenue. I always wonder: Who's her weird friend? I like the oddballs.

People don't stop at a size 12. I feel like there's a big thing missing where you can't dress to your mood above a certain number.

Strangers shouldn't be allowed to take a picture of your child and sell it for profit.

Somebody ripped their pants open at my wedding, dipping my mother. My mother is not a lady who throws herself into a dip that often, so I don't think he thought she was really going to do it.

Some days, I want to be prim and proper, and others, I want to be in a band.

At some point in the past, it was decided that women in comedy are never supposed to be shown in an unflattering light. But in comedy, you need all of your tools to be funny.

There was a three-year chunk as a teen where I should have been tranquilized and put in a cage.

Do I sometimes hope I wake up in the morning and people are like, 'What's wrong with her? She looks emaciated.' Of course I would love that. I'm such a clothes whore, I would love the opportunity to be a hanger. But I think I'm more confident than I've ever felt in my life.

The average size of a woman is 14.

I wanted to be a drag queen so badly. I'll bet I still own more wigs than any drag queen - I love me a wig.

I've grown to love L.A., but it's the most socially awkward place. All these people have come there not to be something but to pretend to be someone trying to be someone.

I want to make each piece of clothing work 15 different ways.

I want pockets in my dresses. I put pockets in everything! I want pockets inside my pockets.

Nothing's more charming than someone who doesn't take herself too seriously.

I laugh my head off every day with my husband and my kids, who are mooning me and singing me songs.

I love to watch someone who just goes for it and isn't worried about whether it's silly or awkward or unflattering.

I loved the playfulness of fashion. I think maybe that's why I became an actress. You put on one outfit and feel one way, and another one will make you feel another way. Clothes are a wonderful tool.

I'm very boring. But I'm a bit obsessed with women that are so incredibly solid in their shoes that they don't care what other people think of them. I just think there's something so interesting about that kind of confidence.

In my 20s, I used to cry about why I wasn't thinner or prettier, but I want to add that I also used to cry about things like, 'I wish my hair would grow faster. I wish I had different shoes...' I was an idiot... It's a decade of tears.

In a lot of comedies, they kind of take all the problems away from the women. They give her great clothes, great hair; she almost always owns an artisanal shop, like a cheese shop in Manhattan.

I'm not a crazy germophobe; I have kids, and that ship has sailed.

I'm like a three-and-a-half, four-hour-a-night sleeper. It's not enough to function.

I lived on a farm in Illinois, and we didn't have a lot of money. But I lived vicariously through magazines. I was obsessed with Jean Paul Gaultier. I still have the scrapbooks, and I've kept all my designs and sketches.

If somebody's doing something, and you're laughing, and at the same time you're so embarrassed for them, it's my absolute kind of favorite type of laugh.

I just think that wigs and makeup and costumes completely transform me.

I refuse to give energy to the negative. I've got a great fella and two great little girls.

I love the juxtaposition of a sweet little blouse with a motocross look.

In terms of the characters I think are really fun to play, a lot of times it's someone in my head saying 'I know that woman.'

I just figure if it has my name on it, and I want to make people feel good about wearing it, I can't pass it off.

I'd rather watch a character be good at something and be challenged - there's more to play in that.

I believe it matters how you treat people. I believe in Heaven. I don't believe that this is it, and then we're done. I have a lovely relationship with God, although when I've lost someone or I've seen a sick child, I've had conversations with Him in which I've had to ask, 'How can that be right?'

I feel intensely guilty for working... You have to be able to provide for your kids. But I feel like it's a weird modern phenomenon that you always feel guilty for it.

I do think comedy needs to be a living thing, but I think without a great script and fully realized characters, you cannot keep it living. Otherwise it just becomes long and rambling indulgent.

I've grown to love L.A., but it's the most socially awkward place. All these people have come there not to be something but to pretend to be someone trying to be someone. Even in line for coffee, you're standing with someone who's trying to be so interesting.

I'm really happy in my life.

I want to be healthy.