Michael Keaton Quotations

Unpredictability means what it means. I don't know how you define it. It is what it is.

There comes a point in your life when you realize how quickly time goes by, and how quickly it has gone. Then it really speeds up exponentially. With that, I think you start to put a lot of things into context; you start to see how huge the world is, and really, the universe.

To this day, I have the most fond memories of some of my old toys.

In the household in which I was raised, the themes were pretty simple. 'Work hard. Don't quit. Be appreciative, be thankful, be grateful, be respectful. Also, never whine, never complain. And always, for crying out loud, keep a sense of humor.'

I'm just shocked at how blatantly shallow people are sometimes.

Westerns were always my favorite things when I was little. And it always bothered me when cowboys were too clean in movies, or when they wore their guns like they had an outfit on. It always worked better when a guy looked sweaty and smelly; I hadda believe, I hadda believe that.

Anesthesia is quite remarkable. Its lost time. And you wake up kind of refreshed.

Over the years, I think, people - actors, writers, whatever - lose their frame of reference. Their frame of reference is based on somebody else who did this or did that. Performances. So it just becomes a reflection of what already works. Like a warm-up. And that's an invitation to be inauthentic.

If I'm going to meditate, there is a little church up in Montecito, California. It's an old Spanish mission, actually. I find it comforting in there.

My first day in grade school, I was plain scared. I left the comfort of my run-down house, which I loved, and went to school where it was cold, it smelled, the lighting was bad.

I've changed my diet a few times. Now I'm trying to eat more protein. I eat little meals throughout the day. I love food, so I still give myself great meals. Also, when I'm busy, it's easy to lose weight.

From an art perspective, I don't know how you get better than 'Beetlejuice.' In terms of originality and a look, it's 100% unique.

High energy creates more energy, more energy, more energy. It kicks off synapses, I guess. It opens up your brain and you think of one thing after another thing, after another. You can really open yourself up comedically, which is fun.

I played a lot of sports when I was a kid so I get in that ballgame mindset of being really, really respectful, but at same time saying to yourself, 'Don't back down a single inch, hang with these guys if you can.' If they throw it high and tight you have to stand in there, you can't take yourself out of that moment.

I choose not to be at the whim of others. I want to be at my own whim.

Anyone can be a celebrity now; this is not a big deal anymore.

I never knew anyone who was cloned, but I played one in Multiplicity.

I used to work on a survey crew, because my dad was an engineer, but he was also a surveyor.

My brothers were tremendous shack builders. My shacks were horrible. My brothers once built a two-story shack from the ground up that was awesome!

Weirdly, for someone who wanted to be funny, I didn't like a lot of attention.

I saw 'Wild,' and I thought, 'Wow, this is a lot of things, but one of the things is it's a therapist's dream and a climate-change denier's nightmare.'

I'll always stand by the first 'Batman'. Even for its imperfections, people will never know how hard that movie was to do. A lot of that still holds up.

To make extra money, my parents would sell eggs and chickens. I was very little. I remember a chicken's head being chopped off with the chicken running around. I wasn't sure if my imagination was running away with me or if it really happened. It really happened.

Unless you're flat out dead, you have to think of some other questions like: what's on the other side? It brings up issues of God, or no God. How does he play into this? Or he, or she, or it? How does it all play into this?

Generally, I move in the direction of art.

There are certainly producers I hang with and directors I hang with and actors I hang with.

When I was in improv workshops or doing stand-up or writing comedy with others, or just doing comedy, I just laughed. Funny was funny; I loved to laugh. I always liked people I found generally funny.

There are very few jobs where you're held up to public scrutiny.

There are times when I consciously give the character something physical - a walk, the way he sits, how he talks, or his lack of physicality, which is like a physicality.

Leaving a lot of movie sets, I've gone home and said, 'How come my hands are clean?' I should finish something and go home with dirt in my fingernails, because then you really feel that you've done something.

My limited theater experience was when I was a kid starting out: two or three plays. I was good in one and mediocre in the other. My problem is that I have other interests.

My first manager, he had left Germany when he was five, but he would joke about the Nazis. And I'd laugh, but I'd look at him, and he was the first one who told me, 'You know, funny is a powerful thing; it's a wonderful weapon.'

No, I don't see many movies. I don't even see my own movies.

People, when they talk or write about comedy, they don't really get it.

One thing my mother had a nose for was inauthenticity.

I guess I'm probably a Method actor; I don't know... I just think of it as staying in the zone.

I didn't go to church all the time, just 'cause I was an antsy kid.

I didn't do it to say I wanted to do something for my child. ... If I didn't think it was good, I wouldn't have done it.

I don't know - sometimes I catch myself being dark, and it's annoying. I think, 'Get over it.' I bore myself. But sometimes, like everybody, I'm sure I am obsessive.

I come from a background where you don't really talk about yourself much.

Chris Nolan is great, but I've never seen any of the 'Batman' movies all the way through. I know they're good. I just have zero interest in those kinds of movies.

I have a lot of energy, and I move around a lot in my club act.

I can't sleep the first night in a hotel room.

I get kinda self-conscious. I don't want to know about my eyebrows. I'm born with them.

I always knew the way in was Bruce Wayne. It wasn't Batman. It was never Batman. That was the key.

I always think that I'm not going to be right for a movie or that there's someone else who can do it better.

I always thought what made 'Beetlejuice' look so great was because it looked like some genius kid made it in his basement.

Have I ever been to a party with a ton of famous people in it? Yes, several times, so I guess that's a Hollywood lifestyle.

Historically, I'm not a great patient when it comes to slowing down.

Guys who go on and on about loving women usually don't.

I was an altar boy, which I loved and am very proud of. It was strict, but also really nice.

I saw some Pixar movies like 'The Incredibles' and thought, 'This is extraordinary. These are some of the best movies I've seen.'

People always make these generalized statements about Hollywood, and there's all kinds of people in Hollywood.

My work is distinct and definitive and specific, and hopefully it is so that every single character is different, and they are - but there's probably an underlying element that's me.

Look, I'd do it, too, if I were a businessman. But at some point, you've got to win. I think fans have been gracious ... Maybe not vociferous enough with their displeasure. That's my opinion.

I worked at a PBS station called WQED in Pittsburgh.

I think one reason I really like women and like working with women is because of my sisters.

I'm in a business that invites narcissism, self-involvement, and egos being blown out of proportion.

I was raising a child full time, sharing the responsibility with his mom. He lived with me half the time, so I chose not to go away and make certain movies.

I was never a huge 007 fan, but I sure liked Sean Connery. I'm sure Pierce Brosnan is good and has his moments, but I've not seen him; I've only seen bits and pieces on TV, so I can't really judge. Pierce looks very natural in the role.

I was a really involved dad - not because I'm such a wonderful person. I like being a dad.

Will Ferrell makes me laugh a lot when he gets out there and gets crazy.

To say directing was a long-stewing ambition doesn't cover it. If you cut me open, you'd see it.

I've proven I'm courageous. I'm gutsier than anybody; I've got a better imagination than anybody; I'm essentially more creative than any other actor I know, and I've proven I take risks. I don't think I need to prove anything to myself any more.

Sometimes I don't feel like an actor. Sometimes I speak about it like it was another job, and then I go, 'Wait a minute - I am one!'

Sometimes I do movies that aren't any good, or sometimes I might not be any good in them, or sometimes they don't do very well.

Actors don't get to be well-known if they're horrible.

That takes a lot of guts, ... It's not hard for me to imagine having that kind of job.

You're not a columnist. You're a reporter (who) writes long.

You don't get bored with stuff like 'Birdman.'

There're only a few photographers I've ever felt really comfortable with.

There just is not one person in my family who is not funny.

There is the theory... that you live in two places: You either live in fear, or you live in love.

I took my play very seriously, and I got way, way lost in my play world.

It's great to make your own choices, but there's a price to pay. I could've made more money or been more famous. I could be the current groovy guy.

David Letterman used to say, 'I wasn't the class clown, but I wrote for him,' and that's exactly it. You want to be known to be funny without having it pointed out.

It's so hard to get anything as well written or as challenging, or a cast or director this good, so I just had to do it. It kind of haunted me.

I've got a statue of St. Francis in my front yard, and I'm not even a practicing Catholic.

I try to not be or associate with elitists.

The vast majority of Pittsburghers don't come from any kind of serious dough.

There's this thin line between knowing something is going to be really hard and saying, 'Yeah, you know, but I still gotta see if I can pull it off.'

I'm getting more and more bored with professional sports, but I still watch.

I'm envious of writers and musicians. I think it must be so difficult. Not just the frustration, but the discipline.

I hope this doesn't sound pretentious, but I very often like the way Europeans make movies. I think sometimes that don't they care about having to clean certain things.

I have some tremendous, tremendously loving, generous friends all over the world.

I'm usually pretty good in front of a live audience. I usually like that.

In high school, I was too shy to perform. It's one thing to get laughs from your family, to be funny at parties and in class. It's another thing to get up on the stage.

I liked 'Robocop' because of the director, and it was an intelligent, big-action studio movie.

I had a real strong fantasy life as a kid. But then you grow up and think about real jobs.

I'm the seventh child of George and Leona Douglas, and I don't ever remember a time when my father didn't work two jobs. When my mother was going to the grocery, or going to Mass, or trying to take care of seven kids in a run-down farmhouse.

If you get a good comedy once a year, man, that's pretty good. I may be pickier than some, but still, there aren't that many movies that are really, truly, honestly that funny.

If you're a dope like me, you get every sports channel you can get. I'm watching, you know, Netherlands soccer.

If you look at what I do, there's no consistency. The consistency is that there is no consistency. I do projects that are good and not so good.

In our family, my brothers and I shared toys. In other words, just because it was mine didn't mean my brothers and I didn't play with it.

I remember my mom threatening me, half-serious: 'You know what? I should take you to Pittsburgh and put you in dance lessons just to keep you occupied.' Well, that brought everything to a screeching halt. 'Jeeze, dance lessons.' In retrospect, it would have been awesome, but then, 'Ugh, dancing - dancing's for sissies.'

I really like to hear actors talk about acting, but I don't really like hearing myself talk.

I never wanted to play the short game.

I really believed that Batman had the potential to be one of the coolest guys in cinema.

I read that John Hughes script for 'Mr. Mom,' and I thought, 'This guy is a funny writer.' I went: 'You ought to stick around and direct this thing.' But he didn't; he left, and look what he became. A really legendary comedy director.

I reached a point where I didn't think I was that great. I'm not being humble. I was looking at things and thinking: 'You're not really good in that'. I think I was becoming boring as well as bored. It was nobody's fault except mine - probably - and it might not even be my fault.