Robert Ingersoll Quotations

There are some of his sayings which show him to have been a devout Jew, others that he wished to destroy Judaism, others showing that he held all people except the Jews in contempt and that the wished to save no others, others showing that he wished

To prevent famine, one plow is worth a million sermons, and even patent medicines will cure more diseases than all the prayers uttered since the beginning of the world

No day can be so sacred but that the laugh of a little child will make it holier still

My creed is that; Happiness is the only good. The place to be happy is here. The time to be happy is now. The way to be happy is to make others so.

I would rather live with the woman I love in a world full of trouble, than to live in heaven with nobody but men

I combat those only who, knowing nothing of the future, prophesy an eternity of pain- those who sow the seeds of fear in the hearts of men- those only who poison all the springs of life, and seat a skeleton at every feast

If Christ, in fact, said "I came not to bring peace but a sword," it is the only prophecy in the New Testament that has been literally fulfilled

Give the church a place in the Constitution, let her touch once more the sword of power, and the priceless fruit of all ages will turn to ashes on the lips of men

Heresy is what the minority believe, it is the real name given by the powerful to the doctrine of the weak

It is a blessed thing that in every age someone has had the individuality enough and courage enough to stand by his own convictions

It is impossible to conceive of a more thoroughly despicable, hateful, and arrogant being, than the Jewish god

I suppose it can be truthfully said that Hope is the only universal liar who never loses his reputation for veracity

That church teaches us that we can make God happy by being miserable ourselves;

You have no right to erect your tollgate upon the highways of thought. You have no right to leap from the hedges of superstition and strike down the pioneers of the human race. You have no right to sacrifice the liberties of man upon the alters of ghosts. Believe what you may; preach what you desire; have all forms and ceremonies you please; exercise your liberty in your own way but extend to all others the same right.

You have no right to erect your toll-gate upon the highways of thought

The real oppressor, enslaver, and corrupter of the people is the Bible

Few rich men own their own property. The property owns them.

To argue with a man who has renounced his reason is like giving medicine to the dead

Those who have loved God most have loved men least

Those who have loved God most, have loved man least

Every cradle asks us, "Whence?" and every coffin, "Whither?" The poor barbarian, weeping above his dead, can answer these questions as intelligently as the robed priest of the most authentic creed

At present, a good many men engaged in scientific pursuits and those who have signally failed in gaining recognition among their fellows, are endeavoring to make reputations among the churches by delivering weak and vapid lectures upon the 'harmony o

And we are called upon to worship such a God; to get upon our knees and tell him that he is good, that he is merciful, that he is just, that he is love

Anger blows out the lamp of the mind. In the examination of a great and important question, everyone should be serene, slow-pulsed and calm.

Anger blows out the lamp of the mind

Read it as you would any other book; think of it as you would of any other; get the bandage of reverence from your eyes; drive from your heart the phantom of fear; push from the throne of your brain the cowled form of superstition - then read the Holy Bible, and you will be amazed that you ever, for one moment, supposed a being of infinite wisdom, goodness, and purity to be the author of such ignorance and of such atrocity.

The Old Testament describes the hell of the past, and the New the hell of the future

A place where pebbles are polished and diamonds are dimmed.

There is not in all the pulpits ingenuity enough to harmonize these ignorant and stupid contradictions

According to this account the promise of the devil was fulfilled to the very letter, Adam and Eve did not die, and they did become as gods, knowing good and evil

It is said that from Mount Sinai God gave, amid thunderings and lightnings, ten commandments for the guidance of mankind; and yet among them is not found Thou shalt believe The Bible

The inspired Bible has been and is the greatest curse of Christendom, and will so remain as long as it is held to be inspired

In all ages hypocrites, called priests, have put crowns upon the heads of thieves, called kings

In nature there are neither rewards nor punishments; there are only consequences.

Calvin was as near like the God of the Old Testament as his health permitted

Calvin founded a little theocracy, modeled after the Old Testament, and succeeded in erecting the most detestable government that ever existed, except the one from which it was copied

But if the witnesses are inspired of God then there is no reason for their disagreeing on anything, and if they do disagree it is a demonstration that they were not inspired

The hands that help are holier than the lips that pray

The hands that help are better far than the lips that pray

The great religious historian, Eusebius, ingenuously remarks that in his history he carefully omitted whatever tended to discredit the church, and that he piously magnified all that conduced to her glory

A God who gave his entire time for 40 years to the work of converting three millions of people, and succeeded in getting only two men, and not a single woman, decent enough to enter the promised land? (Num

All the meanness, all the revenge, all the selfishness, all the cruelty, all the hatred, all the infamy of which the heart of man is capable, grew, blossomed and bore fruit in this one word, Hell