Sebastian Horsley Quotations

The problem with compassion is that it is not photogenic.

A woman is supposed to have curves like an old Bentley, not like some old bike.

You may look back on your life and accept it as good or evil. But it is far, far harder to admit that you have been completely unimportant; that in the great sum of things all a man's endless grapplings are no more significant than the scuttlings of a cockroach. The universe is neither friendly nor hostile. It is merely indifferent. This makes me ecstatic. I have reached a nirvana of negativity. I can look futility in the face and still see promise in the stars.

I do a lot of things for effect, which is not to say I am superficial, but that I know how to put ideas across.

Why shouldn't I be allowed to say stupid, outrageous things?

I am not an intellectual. An intellectual is someone who looks at a sausage and thinks of Picasso, whereas I just say 'pass the mustard'.

I like to remind myself that every morning I'm making a choice to live.

My theory is that the way you cope with the depths will ascertain the heights that you reach - they are intimately connected - and if you have a lust for life, you are also going to have a lust for death.

Pain can be vitalising; it gives intensity in the place of vagueness and emptiness. If we don't suffer, how do we know that we live?

I live my life like an open book, even though it's open on the wrong page.

Dandyism is a lie which reveals the truth, and the truth is that we are what we pretend to be.

My grandfather was a practising Quaker. My father was a nihilist. But nihilism, if you like, is the beginning of faith anyway.

Being a dandy is a condition rather than a profession. It is a defense against suffering and a celebration of life.

I used to have about a hundred suits in my late twenties and early thirties when my stock was riding high and I was rich.

The universe is neither friendly nor hostile. It is merely indifferent. This makes me ecstatic.

Everyone says Oscar Wilde was a dandy, but he wasn't - he was an aesthete. He took pleasure in food and stuff like that. Dandyism is much more austere - much more Calvinistic, more neurotic - it oscillates between narcissism and neurosis.

I am a fraud. I have cobbled together my personality from hundreds of little bits. I am simultaneously the most genuine and the most artificial person you will ever meet.

Think of how many boring, blameless lives are brightened by the blazing indiscretion of me.

If I want to dislike women, I should be allowed to. As it happens, I love them. Women to me are privately worshipped and publicly disdained.

People who have a reputation for being evil are usually good.

An artist has to go to every extreme, to stretch his sensibility through excess and suffering in order to feel and to communicate more. I have always been fascinated by blood. Pain can be vitalizing; it gives intensity in the place of vagueness and emptiness. If we don't suffer, how do we know that we live?

I consider myself to be very correct and proper: an upright citizen.

If I hear that people are litigious, I immediately dismiss them.

I keep the shutters closed because I like to work in a hermetic environment. I like mirrors. When you look out of the window, all you see is ugliness, but when you look in the mirror all you see is beauty.

I think you are born, and I think you die. I have a pragmatic nature, but I yearn to believe.

If someone thinks I'm posh, it just shows how lowly they are. Some people think I went to Eton. I'm far too stupid to get into Eton.

I like living sparsely. In the main room, there's no furniture - no tables, no chairs, no coffee table - not even a decaffeinated coffee table.

I regret everything. But so what? At least I have cause.

I don't talk, I quote. I can't help it. It's better to be quotable than honest.

We build our character as a carapace to keep away the fear of the abyss. That's what our character is for.

Getting old is horrible, but it is interesting . . . one of the things I've realized is that growing old is compulsory, but growing up is optional.

My only criticism about Quentin Crisp is that the subversive must be ready to subvert themselves. I may dress for myself, but I undress for everybody else, whereas he never did that - he was never prepared to drop a bomb on everything he did.

I like fat girls. A woman can never be too poor or too fat. I'd take a poor fat girl over a rich thin girl like Kate Moss.

I don't really know what Americans are like. I've no idea. I know a few things about them. In my imagination, they have warm peachy hearts, whereas the English have horrible spiteful withered hearts - success in England inspires envy - in America, it inspires hope.

I don't think I'm known for my gifts - I'm known for my gall. I don't want to be just a famous person - I'm too old.

I have wanted only one thing to make me happy. That thing is everything.

My one concession to American sensibilities was to remove my nail polish.

The function of music is to release us from the boredom of existence.

The motivation of all artists is 'Look at me, Mum'.

[…] life is just the misery left between abortion and euthanasia […]

I am half-Byronic, half-moronic; part-shaman, part-showman.

It's really interesting because 50 years ago, if you didn't wear a hat everyone looked at you. It just proves that everything is fashion.

I can count all the lovers I've had on one hand...if I'm holding a calculator.

To be worthy of assassination takes more than some crappy little book.

I am desperate for attention. But everyone else is too. Everyone has fantasies of fame and greatness. Life for most people is a process of shedding those fantasies.

I might be old, but I'm still desirable.

But really death seems the least awful thing that can happen to someone

Everyone says Oscar Wilde was a dandy, but he wasn't, he was an aesthete. He took pleasure in food and stuff like that. Dandyism is much more austere-much more Calvinistic, more neurotic - it oscillates between narcissism and neurosis.

I didn't want to tell Mother I worked as a journalist. She thought I was a prostitute. Locking yourself in a room and inventing characters and conversations which do not exit is no way for a grown man to behave.

There's a lot of noise about me that stops a lot of people from listening, but the good side is if you expose yourself like that, you're left with only good people who can see through you-you get rid of all the wankers.

One of the many troubles of growing older is that it gets progressively harder to find a famous historical figure who hadn't yet amounted to anything by the time he was your age.

The problem I've got is that I really, really like drugs. I love everything about them. It is horrific being sober all the time-utterly awful.

People either hate me or dislike me - but I realized that people aren't against you, they are for themselves. We're all prejudiced in favor of ourselves.

Self-pity is the most destructive of all narcotics.

People are obsessed by happiness, but there are a lot of other invigorating experiences available.

It's better to be quotable than honest, I don't speak, I quote. I am a fraud. I have cobbled together my personality from hundreds of little bits. I am simultaneously the most genuine and the most artificial person you will ever meet.

Unhappiness lies in that gap between our talents and our expectations.

Being well-dressed gives a feeling of inward tranquility which psychoanalysis is powerless to bestow.