Stephen Wright Quotations

When I was little, my grandfather used to make me stand in a closet for five minutes without moving. He said it was elevator practice.

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded

My friend invented Cliff's Notes. When I asked him how he got such a great idea, he said, "Well, first I... I just... well, to make a long story short...

One night I walked home very late and fell asleep in somebody's satellite dish. My dreams were showing up on TV's all over the world.

One time I went to a museum where all the work in the museum had been done by children. They had all the paintings up on refrigerators.

My apartment was robbed and everything was replaced with exact replicas...I told my roommate and he said 'Do I know you?

Negative sentiment has basically led to across-the-board declines, very few stocks have escaped unscathed.

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I may have forgotten this before.

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?

I got up one morning and couldn't find my socks, so I called Information. She said, "Hello, Information." I said, "I can't find my socks." She said, "They're behind the couch." And they were!

I didn't get a toy train like the other kids. I got a toy subway instead. You couldn't see anything, but every now and then you'd hear this rumbling noise go by.

I have a microwave fireplace in my house. The other night I laid down in front of the fire for the evening in two minutes.

I have a switch in my apartment that doesn't do anything. Every once in a while I turn it on and off. On and off. On and off. One day I got a call from a woman in France who said "Cut it out!

I hate it when my foot falls asleep during the day 'cause that means it's gonna be up all night.

He was a multi-millionaire. Wanna know how he made all of his money? He designed the little diagrams that tell which way to put batteries in.

Well, you know when you're rocking in a rocking chair, and you go so far that you almost fall over backwards, but at the last instant you catch yourself? That's how I feel all the time

He used to sit very quiet. Dangerous quiet, if you ask me. And he'd stare at her with that look he has. He didn't need drink to make him dangerous.

I was in the grocery store. I saw a sign that said "pet supplies." So I did. Then I went outside and saw a sign that said "compact cars.

I went to a cafe that advertised breakfast anytime, so I ordered French Toast during the Rennaisance.

I wrote a song, but I can't read music. Every time I hear a new song on the radio I think, "Hey, maybe I wrote that.

Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang Happy Birthday.

Reasonably benign economic environment, nothing too threatening with either (political) party. . .either party coming in will still mean continuation of reasonable economic growth.

I was born by Caesarean section, but you can't really tell... except that when I leave my house, I always go out the window.

We have the new sliding scale in place in the event of another increase in gas prices,

We have now got a coalition government which may or may not include some anti-business types like the Greens.

When you see it in summer, it's just beautiful, and then you read the plaques about how 2,000 men died on this spot in 20 minutes. To reconcile how it looks today, the beauty of it, with what actually happened made a big impression on me, and I decided I had to do something one day.

We need to encourage policies that recognize that being a little long in electricity is much better for consumers than being a little short,

Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song? The guy who wrote that song wrote everything.

Boy, life takes a long time to live

Either outfit is going to have a pretty weak coalition.

Every so often, I like to go to the window, look up, and smile for a satellite picture.

There's a feeling that enough has been done to slow the economy down and the next phase must be up, that growth will start to pick up again.

I've been doing a lot of abstract painting lately, extremely abstract. No brush, no paint, no canvas, I just think about it.

Some people think George is weird, because he has sideburns behind his ears. I think George is weird, because he has false teeth with braces on them.

Anywhere is walking distance, if you've got the time.

Babies don't need a vacation but I still see them at the beach. I'll go over to them and say, 'What are you doing here, you've never worked a day in your life!'.

All Asian markets are down right across the board including Japan.

A lot of people ask me if I were shipwrecked, and could only have one book, what would it be? I always say 'How to Build a Boat

A lot of people were suspecting that something was up.

They are still facing hard times in Australia, New Zealand is showing signs of improvement but I think the market will wait to see how they perform during the Christmas season.

There's a pizza place near where I live that sells only slices. In the back you can see a guy tossing a triangle in the air.

It's just what you'd expect for the holiday period.

It's a beautiful car. If I owned this car, I wouldn't drive it.

It was certainly slippery out there. It was nice to not have the snow, but we did have a pilot project that we've been waiting to try.

It will be a moving reaffirmation of fellowship at sea.

It's a continuation of the same old factors,

Oh, well, I guess this is just going to be one of those lifetimes

I want to get a tattoo of myself on my entire body, only 2" taller

Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.

I love to go shopping. I love to freak out salespeople. They ask me if they can help me, and I say, "Have you got anything I'd like?" Then they ask me what size I need, and I say, "Extra medium.

I never anticipated that one of my photographs would still be being talked about after 20 years.

If you're not part of the solution, then you're part of the precipitate

In order to succeed as a year-round resort, you have to have amenities. We aren't blessed with a ski resort.

The commemorations have been very moving for all of us and have been a demonstration of the solidarity of seafarers,