Tracy Morgan Quotations

I have snakes, three sharks, moray eels, piranhas, five scorpions and a bird spider. All of them are predators. They are dangerous but it's cool to have strong and powerful pets.

Bad news travels at the speed of light; good news travels like molasses.

Being funny wasn't a career choice growing up, it was my way out of situations; a way to survive another day.

What you have to understand is that my thing is not glamour. I love stretch marks and C-section scars and all of that. I'm a grown man. You don't gotta put on no makeup with me.

And when I was angry, when I was younger, I was in a cocoon. Now I'm a beautiful, black butterfly.

Comedians are the monkeys of acting. When you go to the zoo, everybody loves the monkey exhibit.

When a child is born, it's born with a heart of gold, but the way of this world can turn that heart cold. I'm still a good person, and I thank God for that - He's working with me on it.

If we all had a little bit of Michael Jackson in us, I think it would make the world a better place.

There's ups and downs of any job. If you worked at the post office, there's ups and downs. You have your good days, and you have your bad days. If you're a housewife, you have your good days, and you have your bad days.

What I have learned over the years is to try to stay in the moment. I want to feel it all because I've realized nothing lasts.

I have friends who are black, white, purple, gay, straight, Martian, yellow, old, and young. I have friends who are animals and a few who I believe to be robots. All of them are people to me. In my mind, it's not about what you look like or what you do; it's about who you are inside.

I'm human, I feel, I understand. That's the highest level of love, is understanding - when you can understand someone, when you can love them with their flaws and their faults. So I understand, I consider. I may speak the truth, but I'll consider your feelings, too.

Stand-up don't get no respect - it's the hardest thing to do in show business. You don't have no band and there's no music.

It's just, people recognize you for your work, you know? They love you for your work, and they judge you for your work. It's awesome to have people quoting you. I love it.

On 'Saturday Night Live,' I never really wrote. You know, I would just - I would let the writers cast me into the show. So my strength - and I put all my energies into performance. I just couldn't deal with the rejection, you know, getting your sketches cut, and it was hard for me.

I spread love wherever I'm at. I'm like Marvin Gaye.

Everybody's out to get something from somebody. 'Gold diggers' doesn't just mean money, it can mean time, it can mean feelings. It can mean anything when you're taking and not giving. When people don't know how to reciprocate.

The paparazzi do what they do, man. They have a job, too.

Tracy Morgan is subdued. I'm cool. I'm chilled out.

Growing up in the ghetto is pretty hard. It's poverty; it's frustration.

You gotta understand, my great-grandfather was German and Irish. My grandmother was Indian, and my grandfather was African-American, so we all got a little something in us.

All women like to look up to their men.

If you're the kind of person who likes numbers and statistics, I'm the long shot - the Lotto Powerball winner. I'm the mutation in the DNA that makes evolution a reality. I am the new black.

My father was the role model I looked up to. My dad was an entertainer, too. I patterned my life after him. He wanted me to do better than he did. He never sold a record in his life, but to me, he was still a rock star.

I know my spirit is not mean, and I have a very good spirit and a funny spirit.

Sometimes I think we're exposed to things we shouldn't be exposed to too early. I think that sets the tone to a person's whole life.

If there's one thing I've learned in my life, it's that curiosity might kill cats, but it doesn't kill people.

What am I afraid of? The IRS. That's it. I don't want those people knockin' on my door, man.

I'm not a child star, but you could say that I've grown up on TV. I went from being an unknown, down-and-out comic from Brooklyn and the Bronx to being a regular character on a major network comedy called 'Martin.' From there I went on to become the most notable black comic on 'Saturday Night Live' since Eddie Murphy.

You have to be highly intelligent to get away with a dumb joke. That takes a pretty smart fella.

Having boys is different. Boys, you put sneakers on, and they're out, they're ready. Girls, you gotta pay a little bit more attention to them.

Life smacks Tracy Morgan in the face, and I don't mean to talk in third party, but no, it doesn't stop raining when I come outside, no, absolutely not. I'm very in touch.

I've been funny my whole life. This is a gift God gave me.

People live too much of their lives on email or the Internet or text messages these days. We're losing all of our communication skills.

So I think all comedians are earning their wings into heaven. We're all going to heaven, but everybody's not going to get their wings. Some people are just going to be regular angels. Doing cleanup, janitor work. In heaven, I'm going to sit on the couch with Oprah.

I don't have a hateful bone in my body. I don't believe anyone should be bullied or made to feel bad about who they are.

If I don't offend somebody, then I'm probably not funny.

I do stand up sometimes out of anger. Sometimes the greatest stuff comes from a dark place.

You get somebody to crack a smile, that's a beautiful thing.

I was like any other inner-city kid with a chip on his shoulder because his daddy and his mommy wasn't together.

Reality is the scary thing. Not my work, not comedy.

You can't hold me to the same standard as the president or a school teacher. I'm just a comedian. My job is like Archie Bunker.

It's like going to the zoo when you come to my house. I have snakes, three sharks, moray eels, piranhas, five scorpions and a bird spider.

You will be surprised but I do a lot of studying and I watch National Geographic.

I grew up in the projects in Brooklyn, and I consider myself lucky and blessed to be where I am - just working.

People walked out on Richard Pryor and he's the funniest man alive.

Listen, Bruce Lee fought out of anger. That's why they call it the 'Fists of Fury.' Michael Jackson danced with fury. I do stand up out of fury. I'm not mad at anybody. I'm not mad at any human being because I'm a human being.

Having a daughter makes you see things in a different way. You have to see how you're carrying yourself because there's a little girl. There's not a little boy, there's a little girl. I think I'm a little more overprotective.

I love my mother. My mother made sure, her stubbornness - she made sure we was going to eat. She made sure we had Christmases. That was my mother. My father wasn't there for that.

My life growing up was a twisted Bronx version of 'The Color Purple.' It had a much different soundtrack and no trees, but that desperation was the same.

The truth is, I've never thought of myself as the Michael Jordan of comedy. And that's a good thing. You know why? Because I'm not. Wasn't that Richard Pryor? Yes, it was. I know what I am: I'm funny!

I want to be an example of a guy who made something of himself out of nothing. A guy who overcame the odds of a tough childhood, who worked hard, who didn't let his surroundings get the best of him and lead him to jail or the graveyard. Where I ended up - being a comedian, a TV star, and a movie actor - might be unique, but my story is not.

My sense of humor is a turkey, and I pull it out of the oven and baste it in reality.

As a child, I was able to know that I wanted a better life.

It's very important to be in your child's life and know what's going on and be there with them.

I don't need no stool and mike stand. I don't need all of that to be funny. I've been funny my whole life. This is a gift God gave me. I spread love wherever I'm at. I'm like Marvin Gaye.

Martin Lawrence is one of my comedic heroes, and he's a genius.

Michael's the ultimate entertainer. After Michael Jackson, it's Elvis Presley, Frank Sinatra, and Bruce Lee.

Parents should support and love their kids no matter what.

Comedy clubs are sacred ground. That's where anything goes.

I had a great time working on 'Saturday Night Live.' It was one of the important times in my life.

I know how bad bullying can hurt. I was bullied when I was a kid.

I know who I am. When I look in the mirror, I see me.

I think it's good that I get scared because, if you never get scared, you don't have any need for guts.

I'm not perfect, but I strive for it.

If I gamble, I'll play roulette. My wife and I will play roulette, and that's about it. I'm not a heavy gambler.

If you can get your life down to one minute at a time, you don't miss anything. You have total abundance of information and material.

People are just way too sensitive. You couldn't have a show like 'Archie Bunker' on TV. People would go crazy; they would lose their minds.

People bring camera phones into comedy shows and clubs and concerts, and sound bites never come out right.

'Saturday Night Live' is live television. Nothing can compare to that.

Saturday Night Live' was like a university for funny.

Stand-up is my foundation. That's where it started at. And I love it because it's personal. It's mine. It's all me. It's my experience in life.

Stand-up is the foundation to my career. It's what I started out doing.

The sexiest part of a woman's body is the back of her kneecaps.

Welcome to post-racial America. I'm the face of post-racial America.

When you look at the artists who have come up through 'Billboard' over the years, it's incredible.

God gave us dreams, but he gave us kids to make all those dreams worthwhile. And when I look at all my kids, I say everything that I've ever went through in my life was worthwhile.

I have a pretty diverse audience, and that makes me happy - laughter is universal, and I don't differentiate between people at all. Why should I? People are people. There's no reason why one person can't relate to any other person on this planet in some way or another.

Most people don't know what's happening around them because they're just speeding through life. And before they know it, they're just old. So I just try to slow it down.

There's nothing in the world like live entertainment. With TV, you have to wait for your results; with live entertainment, people let you know right then and there. That relationship is established in 30 seconds. The first 30 seconds, they'll let you know whether they like you or not.

Cool is the enemy of funny. You can't be cool and be funny at the same time. Only Eddie Murphy could do that.

A stand-up's job is to hold the mirror up to society and to look at what we're afraid of. That's why we had shows like 'All in the Family' and 'The Jeffersons.' We made fun of ourselves then.

All you single fathers got to man up.

America doesn't like to hear about things like welfare. 'Don't talk about that. We don't like what it did to people!' Yeah, but it happened.

Even when I'm sitting up in this glass castle, I still got my street soldiers telling me what's happening.

I believe gay, straight, anybody, everybody's supposed to be happy in this world, man.

I come from where Mike Tyson came from. I come from right across the street from Jay-Z. I didn't have a pond in my backyard. I saw violence.

I don't believe in storks. I know they don't deliver babies; they deliver pickles.

I don't control the line of 'funny,' 'funny,' 'funny,' 'not funny.'

I don't even read the newspaper; I don't read that crap.

I don't get on the phone and prank people and things like that on the phone with people, no.

I don't have anything against Jimmy Fallon. I love Jimmy Fallon. He's my dude.

I don't see myself as angry, although other people see that. I just see myself as a short, dumpy guy with bad feet, and I'm passionate.

I got five kids - I claim three for income tax purposes.

I guess I'm entertaining; I guess I'm interesting. I guess the things that I say sell papers. I guess they sell magazines. I don't know.

I have a heart. I want people to see me with their heart and not their eyes.

I have a nice following in Boston. The Boston crowd is very hip.

When you're in the spotlight, people want to dissect you and then put you back together the way they want you.

Where I came from, people couldn't afford to go to the theatre.

White women love me 'cause of my edge. And I love white women.