Rodney Dangerfield Girl Quotations

I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.

girl phoned me the other day and said .... Come on over, there's nobody home. I went over. Nobody was home.

A girl phoned me the other day and said... Come on over, there's nobody home. I went over. Nobody was home.

My wife says 90% of sex occurs between the ears. But I need a girl who can blow more just my mind.

I used to date a girl from Buffalo. Why can't I meet a girl with normal parents?

I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said, "Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?" She said, "No, I hate myself now."

I once went out with this girl, she was no bargain either, she showed up with pigtails under her arms.

With girls I get no respect. A belly dancer told me I turned her stomach.

I said to a girl I'd been seeing, come home with me, honey, and I'll show you where it's at. She said, You'd better, because the last time I could'nt find it.

I had a date with an inflatable girl. Now I got an inflatable guy looking for me.

With girls, I don't think right. I had a date with one girl, she had mirrors all over her bedroom. She told me to come over and bring a bottle. I got Windex.

I once went out with this wild girl. She made French toast and got her tongue caught in the toaster.

The sign on the bar said: 'girls- topless, bottomless', I went inside and there was nobody there!

I tell ya, I know the best way to get girls. I hang out at women's prisons, and wait for parolees.

I knew a girl so ugly, she had a face like a saint-a Saint Bernard!

I knew a girl so ugly, I took her to the top of the Empire State building and planes started to attack her.

I knew a girl so ugly, they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders.

I knew a girl so ugly that she was known as a two-bagger. That's when you put a bag over your head in case the bag over her head breaks.

I once met a beautiful, proper English girl. I bid her adieu.... she bid me a don't.

I'm at the age where I want two girls. In case I fall asleep they will have someone to talk to.

I once dated a girl that was wild. She was so wild that one night she gave her phone number to the mechanical bull.

Well with girls I don't get no respect. I had a blind date. I waited two hours on the corner. A girl walked by. I said Are you Louise? She said, Are you Rodney? I said, Yeah. She said, I'm not Louise.

Everyone says that looks don't matter, age doesn't matter, money doesn't matter. But i never met a girl yet who has fallen in love with an old ugly man who's broke.

A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home.

I like southern girls. They talk so slow that by the time they say no, I made it already.