Shaquille O'Neal Basketball Quotations [Page 2]

Nietzsche was so intelligent and advanced. And that's how I am. I'm the black, basketball-playing Nietzsche.

I knew I was going to make one. I wanted to make two, but the first one rattled in and rattled right out.

Can't nobody [mess] with me. I'm like toilet paper, Pampers and toothpaste. I'm definitely proven to be effective.

But you can not compare Yao's stats to mine. You just can't compare it and I am playing everyone one-on-one.

I don't see us having a problem. It's going to be my job to manage the locker room, anyway, so it will work out.

I would like to be referred to as 'The Big Aristotle'.

The Miami Heat has the best fans.

I think Bush came back because Colin Powell was there. Hey, I'm the brigadier general, baby.

I don't think anything of Laura Frank. You heard me - Laura Frank. Not Lawrence. Laura... It's not that I blame him, I just wish he'd go to a manly tactic and just fight me. Don't whine. When he whines, that's when I change his name of Lawrence Frank.

Pat Riley is the best coach I've ever had.

On paper, I think this is the best team I've been on.

It's my job to make him look good. He's a very good looking man, so it's my job to keep him looking good.

I've been an athlete that's sort of in advance; always thinking. After basketball I'd love to have my own radio show, my own TV show.

I love the Miami atmosphere.

He could be dominant - if he played in the WNBA.

It feels good. It's not bad for somebody who can't shoot.

He's the president. I'm the general. Unless I want to get impeached, I got to do what he says.

I knew Rick Pitino was going to make them play that outbreak, monkey defense. He's been doing it all his life.

If you're going to hire an assassin, let him go out and kill someone. I can't be Shaq taking six or seven shots.

I'm still the Dun Dada of all big men.

The only demise of Shaquille O'Neal will be his age.

I'm still here. I'm a force to be reckoned with... you have to come take my spot, and not through Twitter and not through the media, come take my spot. I'm ready to go. As big men in the league, there are two who have done something special during this millennium. I'm one and Tim Duncan is the other. Anyone else has to come upstairs and see the Shogun. I'm still the Shogun.

I have a lot left. There's only four or five good centers in the league and I'm in that number. ... I've been in it for 17 years but I've missed three years because of injury. If you do the math, I've still got three years left. You got that?

Przybilla can't guard me when I'm 27, 37 or 47.

I think I'm the only player who looks at each and every center and says to myself, 'That's barbecued chicken down there.'

I'd heard stuff from out there that I was just another player, that I was too young. I wanted to show I could play with anybody.

If you go around the league, anybody with the last name 'vich' is a great shooter. Radmanovic, Vujacic... all those 'iches.

I'm like President Bush. You may not like me, you may not respect me, but you voted me in.

Georgetown. Alonzo was the guy I always heard about. I've always wanted to measure myself against the best.

Incense. Books. Just weird.

If you want Shaq to be Shaq, you've got to remember that Shaq is known for wreaking havoc offensively - 26,000-plus points without consistently making free throws. Don't have me doing something I'm not used to doing. I ain't used to being a pick-setter. Let me badda-bing, badda-bang.

It's pretty much the same; it's just that Phil was very weird with his system. This is more of the traditional system.

A friend tweeted me with 'The Big Freeze.' I don't know about that one. I've got to go home, play around with the kids and figure something out. I'll have one.

I don't really consider myself one of those superstars. I just consider myself a guy that was lucky enough to win the athletic lottery many times over.

As a man, you got to know how to take it, so I just took it.

It means I don't have to charter that big jet for the family.

Write this: Since my boy is the coach, I'm going to try out for the Dolphins next year. Tight end.

Do we play Chicago again? I going to hit Othella Harrington right in the mouth. If he didn't have his clumsy ass on the floor, I wouldn't have fell. How he got on the ground, I don't know. He's clumsy. Quote me on that. I'm going to get him.

They are that same group, but I've got my own rivalristic problems. Is that a word, rivalristic? I've got my own rivalristic problems in the Eastern Conference.

I'm playing like Eric Dampier.

Dampier is soft. Quote it, underline it, tape it and send it to him.

Flash, take the game off. I'll go out and do the work.

I think he got an incidental elbow in the face, messed up his pretty red lips a little bit. But other than that he'll be fine.

I got it, I dove on the floor, he dove on my head and I hit my teeth on the ground. It was just one of my police reactions to get that criminal off me.

It's a different role for me, playing with the great Dwyane Wade.

Finally, I have someone that's like me. My other two pupils were the opposite sides of the moon. But this guy is on the same side of the moon, is on the same planet that I'm on.

I told my wife when I was rolling up, I felt like the president.

He's got a ring, so I'm taking home the trophy.

I said it jokingly, so this guy was just trying to stir something up that's not there. He's just somebody who doesn't have a sense of humor, like I do.

They asked me when I was out there, 'Why do you want to be traded?' I said me staying here is like divorcing my wife and marrying someone who looks like me. That's backwards, man.

The two top teams with nice weather and nice people were Dallas and Miami. Of course, the Lakers wouldn't want to trade me in the same conference, so Miami was perfect.

I think it was 89.2% cheers and 11.8% boos, but I'm used to that.

I was kind of hoping it was Anna Kournikova.

The problem with kids these days is they don't have enough fun stuff to do. When I was stationed with my family in Germany, youth basketball programs gave me something to strive to do my best at.

Now, the mistakes that I made with my other two sons, Penny and Kobe, I won't make with D-Wade. We can't let them break us up and we can't break each other up.

My motto is very simple. Win a Ring for the King.

I'm not going to go home and drink rat urine.

Everything is done out of respect, whether it's a cheer or a boo.

It's over now. He said what he had to say, I said what I had to say. Don't play with me. Seriously, don't play with me.

Now I see why everybody who plays for him doesn't like him.

It was a cheap shot. They won the game, move on. My thing is, I don't ask for a lot, but I demand my respect, especially from a guy like that.

If he wants to get that next contract, he's going to have to go to the New York Athletic Club three times a day and just ride the bike.

If he were on fire, he couldn't act as if he were burning. He can't out-act me on the big screen.

It's LeBron's team. He's the captain. This is the time in my career where I can fit in. I'm now in the security business. My job is to protect the King, and that's what I'm here to do.

I'm pretty much able to play any style. I'm not here to demand 40 or 50 shots. But I would like 30.

I came here with the perfect chemist's perception. The formula they had was perfect and any added ingredient could make it go bad or worse.

It's his show and I'm just trying to make him look good. If we were the same age there might be a little tension, but I'm on my way out... I am here to serve your every need, King James.

My sons love LeBron more than they love me. I'm just a little jealous about it.

I just want to say, 'Nice job,' but now let the professional take over. There can only be one me. Uno más me.

He can play. He can shoot. He can dribble. He can pass. He's a great player. Period. No question about it. And if anyone thinks Dirk is not a great player, I'll punch them in their face.

Against Bradley, every time I'm trying to dunk, dunk, dunk.

Afterwards I said Chris Webber was going to leave as a free agent and Sacramento would go back to expansionism.

I told Leonard, in the immortal words of Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible 2, 'I'm going on vacation. If I tell you where I'm going, then it won't be a vacation.'

That dude scored 8 points in the last 19 seconds, pulled out a miracle win at the Garden. He made me choke on a chicken bone that day. I'm serious.

Like I've always said, what's hot must go cold.

Now, if you're an NBA fan, you know what Vince Carter did. I came up with a line about him: 'Half-man, half-amazing.'

You're messing up my highlights.

We want you all to be in shape and look as good as me. Because I will be walking naked on the beach.

How did Mike Bibby get on the team? Any Cub Scout with Boy Scouts can do Boy Scoutish things. When Bibby was in the Cub Scouts, he was a Cub Scout. When he was with Vancouver, nobody heard about him. Now that he's with Sacramento... he's on the team. I ain't going.

The Spurs are a great WNBA team.

No one was there. Some teammates, huh? I guess they didn't want to get their lip busted like the gentleman I busted. Sorry for that sir.

They say old people always come to Arizona, you know, to get recharged.

I'm going to be looking to get out like Randy Moss and Terrell Owens.

We're the most experienced team in the league. I think we got a little too happy, running our mouths, jumping up and down, looking at the Heat dancers and all of that stuff. We had to step it up and show them what we're all about.

I have orders not to come back until I'm a thousand percent.

We have strict orders: If we talk about it we get fined $50,000.

One time, I put up 40, 50 points dunking on Shawn Bradley. After the game, he brought his family over. He was like, 'This is my wife. She wants to take a picture.' I'm like, 'Nice to meet you.' I smile into the camera, take the picture, and then feel guilty about dunking on him so many times.

Get away from my house. What do you want?

I don't believe in pressure. Pressure is when you don't know where your next meal is coming from.

I don't have to make a point. I'm George Bush. I'm the president. I built that arena, so I don't have to make a point.

I'm not going to try to go out there and outdo him. I don't have to try to outdo him, I'm Shaq.

There is nothing for me to be sour about. What you got to understand is that I'm a military man. We usually do my shift for four or five years and then you got to move on.

There is nothing to say because I know everything about him. I raised him. I know what's a charade, and I know what's not a charade. I'll leave it at that.

Let's put it in old movie Mafia terms. There are guys that are in position to get by but they didn't wait their turn. They back-doored the top guy to get the power. For example, Sonny Corleone went up there, and he wanted to be the top guy. And the Godfather said, 'You know what dude, I'm a star.' That's what I'm doing now, and that's what I was trying to do with what's-his-name.

I don't know their names. Their names have been erased from my memory banks. If I tried to bring 'em back, I'd get shocked.

If you've got a Corvette that runs into a brick wall, you know what's going to happen. He's a Corvette. I'm a brick wall.

I'm not the one buying love. He's the one buying love.

In the seven or eight years we were together, we were never together.

I've been the type of person [and] the type of athlete, I don't like to be given anything. I like to earn.

That's what I do. I get in and get under people's skin and all that stuff. But you will remember me - and that's all that matters.