Ambrose Gwinett Bierce Fools Quotations

RHADOMANCER, n. One who uses a divining-rod in prospecting for precious metals in the pocket of a fool.

KING, n. A male person commonly known in America as a ""crowned head,"" although he never wears a crown and has usually no head to speak of.A king, in times long, long gone by, Said to his lazy jester:""If I were you and you were I My moments merrily would fly -- Nor care nor grief to pester.""""The reason, Sire, that you would thrive,"" The fool said --""if you'll hear it -- Is that of all the fools alive Who own you for their sovereign, I've The most forgiving spirit."" --Oogum Bem

BONDSMAN, n. A fool who, having property of his own, undertakes to become responsible for that entrusted to another to a third. Philippe of Orleans wishing to appoint one of his favorites, a dissolute nobleman, to a high office, asked him what security he would be able to give. ""I need no bondsmen,"" he replied, ""for I can give you my word of honor."" ""And pray what may be the value of that?"" inquired the amused Regent. ""Monsieur, it is worth its weight in gold.

RASCAL, n. A fool considered under another aspect.