I'm a stand up comic and I always sit and slouch, and I got my girlfriend pregnant on my sterile uncles pull-out couch.
And if ten percent of men are gay and twenty percent of men are Chinese, what are the odds that a men chosen at random spends his free time and mealtime while on his knees.
I get more ass than a giant donkey stable.
Ya back home they call me the tie-dye shirt kid, well that and fagot.
And an anteater plus a large hungry mutant ant? An ironic way to die.
Women are like puzzles because prior to 1920 neither had the right to vote. Puzzles still don't.
I'm gay for Jesus, fill me with your grace. Pour your love all over me, but please aim away from my face.
People ask me all the time, ALL the time, they say the same exact thing. They say, 'Bo, you're an artist... how do we fix Africa?'
There's a metal train that a mile long and at the very back end a lightning bolt struck her. How long til it reaches and kills the driver, provided that he's a good conductor?
For fifteen cents a day you can feed an African, they eat pennies.
I love you like a gay geneticist loves designer genes.
All you god damn dirty Catholics can cath-o-lick my balls.
In the distance, Bo saw a fairy. A fairy so beautiful that he felt proud of being called one in highschool.
I stopped and I thought, 'What would Jesus do?' So I didn't exist.
Women are like fingers and toes because they're easy to count on.
Twitter is a lot like crystal meth, because it's really fun to do and Oprah's on it.
When I tried to hit puberty I swung and I missed.
Poverty. Racism. Isn't it strange, only the homeless are begging for change?
Where are all the sour patch parents?
If I had a dime for every time a homeless guy asked me for change, I'd still say no.