Kim Jong Il made his staff call him “dear” and spent the day drinking cognac. It's like I have a twin, ladies and gentlemen.
I know these jokes aren't great, ladies and gentlemen, see this is the problem you run into when you're between impeachments.
Moammar Gadhafi was found hiding in a storm sewer with a gold-plated gun. That's me in retirement, ladies and gentlemen.
I believe I have voted for both Democrats and Republicans. Am I either one? Absolutely not. Ladies and gentlemen, I am an American.
Ladies and gentlemen, after what I've been through, I am happy just to be wearing clothes that open in the front.