Larry David Thinking Quotations

I'd much rather be on stage talking to a couple of retards for twenty bucks than sitting at my desk thinking up jokes for...well let's say a few dollars more.

I think that for the most part, when I started doing comedy, it had become very commercialized.

I think golf is literally an addiction. I'm surprised there's not Golf Anonymous.

I gave a funny speech at my wife's birthday party, and I'm thinking, 'Hey, I've still got it.'

I don't think anyone really is interested in reading about my emotional state. It's not even interesting to me.

There are times when I'm driving home after a day's shooting, thinking to myself, That scene would've been so much better if I had written it out.

When I was living in New York and didn't have a penny to my name, I would walk around the streets and occasionally I would see an alcove or something. And I'd think, that'll be good, that'll be a good spot for me when I'm homeless.

I still think of that guy I was without a wife or kids, and I still want to entertain that guy. The lonely guy, the frustrated guy, the guy with no money - this is the guy who needs to laugh.

I aspire to be like that character. He's honest. It's the things I'm thinking but not saying.

I think Michael Moore is a hero.

Did Bill Clinton actually think that he could get blow jobs from a Jewish woman and there would be no consequences?

I think we're all good and bad, but good's not funny. Bad is funny. Suppress the good and let the bad out, and then you can be funny.

I wasn't making fun of my father in-law's religion. And even if I was so what, it's a comedy. Religion should be made fun of, it's quite ridiculous isn't it. Think how people spend their lives, they have no idea. They go around as if this is a fact. It's so insane you know. If I really believed that stuff I'd keep it to myself. Lest somebody think I was out of my mind.

Who do you think has more freedom: the married man in America or the single man in Communist China?