Will Rogers Hilarious Quotations

There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.

All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi for my ignorance.

Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock.

Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else.

The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.

When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.