Ambrose Bierce Fool Quotations

VANITY, n. The tribute of a fool to the worth of the nearest ass.

EXPOSTULATION, n. One of the many methods by which fools prefer to lose their friends.

RADIUM, n. A mineral that gives off heat and stimulates the organ that a scientist is a fool with.

ECCENTRICITY, n. A method of distinction so cheap that fools employ it to accentuate their incapacity.

INTIMACY, n. A relation into which fools are providentially drawn for their mutual destruction.

There was never a genius who was not thought a fool until he disclosed himself; whereas he is a fool then only.

When prosperous the fool trembles for the evil that is to come; in adversity the philosopher smiles for the good that he has had.

OBSOLETE, adj. No longer used by the timid. Said chiefly of words. A word which some lexicographer has marked obsolete is ever thereafter an object of dread and loathing to the fool writer . . .

Pun: A form of wit, to which wise men stoop and fools aspire

SCRAP-BOOK, n. A book that is commonly edited by a fool. Many persons of some small distinction compile scrap-books containing whatever they happen to read about themselves or employ others to collect.

April fool, n. The March fool with another month added to his folly.