Identity itself should be not a smug label or a gold medal but a revolution.
Your gender identity is who you are. Sexual identity is who you bounce that off of.
Treating an identity as an illness invites real illness to make a braver stand.
Fixing is the illness model; acceptance is the identity model; which way any family goes reflects their assumptions and resources.
We don't seek the painful experiences that hew our identities, but we seek our identities in the wake of painful experiences.