After I die, I shall return to earth as a gatekeeper of a bordello and I won't let any of you enter.
God tells me how the music should sound, but you stand in the way.
After conducting a concert in a small town, I once received the following note from a farmer who had attended the performance: "Dear Sir, I wish to inform you that the man who played the long thing you pull in and out only did so during the brief periods you were looking at him."