Craig Ferguson America Quotations

If Scotland and America go to war, I'm afraid I've already sworn in.

I came to America, and I made good. It's an old story, but it hasn't been told in a long time. Usually, it's, 'I'm an immigrant, I came here and got persecuted.' My story is I came here, I worked hard, and it worked out all right. So it's still available.

According to a new study, Hawaii is the happiest place in America to live. And I thought it was just a great place to pretend you were born in.

For the first time in history, Congress has 100 women in it. Congratulations. Welcome to modern times, America. It's great having 100 women in Congress. Unless you're in line for the congressional bathroom.

I watched the Republican debate. At one point, the candidates said there are no classes in America, a point then hotly debated by all six rich white guys that were there.

From 1934 to 1963, the biggest criminals in America ended up on Alcatraz. Nowadays they end up on Wall Street.

It's a great day for America, everybody! It's Monday, woo.

I think in our desire to create a better America,we have to have civilized debate in this country and not just yelling.

I do love America. And LA is a very short commute to America its like half an hour on the plane.

The three drunkest cities in America: Fresno, Riverside, and whatever Mel Gibson is driving through.