Frank Caliendo Quotations

ESPN has so many characters, it's like 'The Simpsons.'

ESPN takes itself very seriously, but for some reason, I'm allowed to be the court jester.

I love John Madden because he makes me feel smart.

I'm kind of the antithesis of a comedian. People that don't like me will agree with that.

Fox does the NFL a lot like they program the rest of the network. There's sort of a locker room sense of humor that prevails. With ESPN, it's more like a pat-you-on-the-back kind of comedy. I mean, they'll all get on each other a little bit, but it's never mean-spirited.

I think sometimes comedians and entertainers and artists, sometimes they get onstage, and it's all for what they want to do. I think you still need to do stuff for the audience. They're the ones who are making it possible.

I was very stale at Fox. Much of it was my own fault. I was lazy and didn't fight for things I wanted to do at other times. Most of my stuff consisted of setup/punchline jokes to the camera - a very old-school approach. I was part of the establishment, I guess.

Most people want to be on TV as much as possible. I went up the ranks so fast because I was doing impressions, and nobody was really doing it when I started. I never got a chance to explore what's my comfort level onstage.

With Twitter, it's a little harder to tell jokes that somebody hasn't heard already. You have all these people out there sharing their opinions and telling jokes in real time, and by the time you get on, somebody's already done some version of what you're trying to do.

I didn't apply to different schools. I wasn't really sure what I was going to do.

I made the grandkids laugh. John Madden finally liked me!

People expect me to do the classics, and it is a lot like playing a favorite song.

Jay Leno's the only guy on earth who could have a bobble head made of him that would bobble less than his actual head.

Hey, I work one full hour a day!

Here's a guy that when he puts his contacts in, he can see better.

If it's just the voice, then you can only do jokes. It's not really even about the impression so much. It's about the take and what you do with the person. I try to get a character across with the impression.

Everything is awesome... Everything is cool when you're a part of a team...

I love President Bush. I think it's great we have a president who always looks like he's looking directly into the sun.

Guy on the plane I'm on has a text alert that sounds like a gunshot... And he isn't putting it on vibrate.

You know what I would do? I would remake The Wizard of Oz with Robin Williams, and that's it. Just let him do the whole dang thing by himself.

I chose Journalism by default. I always loved TV, and I had no idea what else to do, so I studied what interested me.

I was always working, so I would get reading done very late at night a lot of times.

It's a simple and an effective way of getting everyone on the same page, prepared and paying attention to the gag. People just get into that frame of mind of you doing impressions. It can take a minute or two for an audience to catch on when you aren't doing one.

When I used to watch vaudevillian impressionists, people like Rich Little or Frank Gorshin, I always felt like the voice was the only point. I didn't want to do that. I wanted to be of the Robin Williams or Jonathan Winters model, where observation and storytelling was important.

Kim Kardashian is single again. Hey, great. Maybe that will give the NBA players something to do during the lockout.

I don't know if you can tell, but I grew up watching a lot of television.

Speaking of Quarterback nicknames, you hear they're calling Jay Cutler 50 cent? Because you only get two quarters out of him.

Remember: Super Bowl is the biggest day of the year for pizza delivery - so no matter what happens in the game, Peyton Manning wins.