Jack Handy Bunch Quotations

I have to laugh when I think of the first cigar, because it was probably just a bunch of rolled up tobacco leaves

If you were a poor Indian with no weapons, and a bunch of conquistadors came up to you and asked where the gold was, I don't think it would be a good idea to say, ""I swallowed it. So sue me.

As the light changed from red to green to yellow and back to red again, I sat there thinking about life. Was it nothing more than a bunch of honking and yelling? Sometimes it seemed that way. - Deep Thoughts (Saturday Night Live)