I always wake up at the crack of ice.
I know a lot more old drunks than old doctors.
I drink to forget I drink.
Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my scotch, I say, I'm thirsty, not dirty.
I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I had lost exactly two weeks.
I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.