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When I was one day old, I learned how to read. When I was two days old, I started to write. By the time I was three, I had finished 212 short stories, 38 novels, 730 poems, and one very funny limerick, all before breakfast. Jon Scieszka
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When I was in New York, I got to see Joan Rivers do an hour of material, and it blew my mind. I don't remember how old she was at the time, but she just had this edgy hour that had so much funny stuff in it, and she was so fearless. If you only watch her on the red carpet, you don't get a sense of what a legendary standup comedian she is. Chelsea Peretti
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When I was in improv workshops or doing stand-up or writing comedy with others, or just doing comedy, I just laughed. Funny was funny; I loved to laugh. I always liked people I found generally funny. Michael Keaton
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When I was in high school, there was 'Superbad' and 'The Girl Next Door' and 'Wedding Crashers' and all these great movies. You hope to be a part of something that's smart, funny and in that Todd Phillips-vein. You want to make something like 'Superbad.' That movie was so good and so funny. Miles Teller
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When I was in high school, I was a bad singer. I mean, all my early acting was musical theater, and my first ever show was 'Jesus Christ Superstar.' Everyone's familiar with it. I played priest number 3 and sang so out of tune that it's not even funny. Sam Claflin
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When I was a kid I had this funny blond hair and everyone called me 'Chick' because I looked like Tweety Bird. Nicky Hilton
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When I was a child, I always wanted to be funny and to please people in my family. As you grow up that instinct becomes more refined, but it's still there. Romola Garai
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When I appear in public, people expect me to neigh, grind my teeth, paw the ground and swish my tail - none of which is easy. Princess Anne
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Golf seems to me an arduous way to go for a walk. I prefer to take the dogs out.
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What this budget does is express (Schwarzenegger's) best judgment of how all the competing needs of California can be met and in this case provide a very large increase in education funding. What he also understands is that his process requires a long and detail discussion with the Legislature, which he is eager to engage. Alan Bersin
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We're going to make very clear all the risks California faces. Chris Bertelli
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Unless President Bush is coming to California to hand over a check from the federal government to help us with the financial challenges we face, the visit seems ill-timed.
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United HealthCare does not and will not raise premium costs to cover the cost of business transactions, ... Premiums in California will only reflect the cost of health care and will not go up as a result of this transaction. James Frey
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Unfortunately, it is unclear whether federal law would allow us to offer in-state rates to undocumented aliens. It would be unwise for us to move forward on this bill until the lawsuit against a similar bill in California is settled.
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Usually, it's Texas and California and Florida. But you look at this roster and you have 'em from everywhere.
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We feel at home. Very nice to have the opportunity to have a couple of hours of happiness. We're used to it when you play in California and in Texas, but not normally this deep into the U.S. I'm glad they're here and they're producing.
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I wouldn't live in California. All that sun makes you sterile. Alan Alda
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I live in one of the coastal cities in Southern California, and every so often I like to take a walk down the boardwalk in Venice during the weekends when it is abuzz with lively activity. Al Seckel
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When we went up there, they beat us by like 27, so I was pleased with the way we played. This week we concentrated on defense and being in their face and never giving them an open look.
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Tom Reillys case to the people of Massachusetts does not rest on where he stands on one particular issue or another. It rests on his integrity, honesty, and a hundred-percent commitment to giving the people of Massachusetts a full days work for a full days pay.... He is as honest as the sun, regardless of whether you agree or disagree with him.
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We're going to stay with the same rotation. We're evaluating on everything they do practice, drills and everything. But the bottom line is you're going to glean more out there at the stadium going 11-on-11 when the coach is not right in your ear giving you a reminder every play.
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When we have a child infected we are giving the virus more chance to adapt to human beings, and giving it this chance could help create conditions for the emergence of a new virus.
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What a great man. He wanted people to know he was thankful for Connellsville giving him his beginnings, athletically and academically.
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We wrap up each week by giving thanks. On Friday, we end with the Eucharist. Doug Kramer
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What he isn't giving up is heart, and he has tremendous heart.
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What he does is he comes into a ticketed event, stands at the podium, delivers a speech, may shake a few hands on his way out, ... What I've been doing is I've been in people's homes, on Main Street, in cafes -- not only talking but listening. Giving speeches does not teach you what the problems are that people are facing in their lives. John Edwards
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What he did great after that first inning was get the first and second guy out before giving up that hit. He's really emerged as the ace, and we're going to keep riding him.