Als Quotations | Page 3

We've already set aside money for recruiting. We've been talking to principals for several years about going to job fairs and connecting with the colleges. Not all teachers will be brand new; we want to lure experienced ones from the other districts. For that, we have, for the last few years, focused on getting our teachers' salary schedule competitive.

We've all grown up not the same, but with very similar morals and values. We know how it is. We know not to talk about anyone's mother and sister.

We've all been told at one point in our lives that we should avoid eating meals late at night as it will lead to weight gain.

Spiders so large they appear to be wearing the pelts of small mammals.

The planes are crowded and noisy and late, and everybody hates everybody. If armed terrorists had tried to hijack any of the flights I've been on lately, we passengers would have swiftly beaten them to death with those hard rolls you get with your in-flight meals.

Recently I began to feel this void in my life, even after meals, and I said to myself, "Dave, all you do with your spare time is sit around and drink beer. You need a hobby." So I got a hobby. I make beer.

For most celebrities, the biggest meal of the day is toothpaste (they use reduced-fat Crest).

Magnetism is one of the Six Fundamental Forces of the Universe, with the other five being Gravity, Duct Tape, Whining, Remote Control, and The Force That Pulls Dogs Toward The Groins Of Strangers.

You don't have to think really hard to get the joke. I think humor in general appeals to all people.

We have altered the physical, chemical and biological properties of the planet on a geological scale. We have left no part of the globe untouched.