Arses Quotations

I could be a bit of a pain in the arse. Since I've come out of my cancer, I must say I intend to be even more of a pain in the arse.

Not that i had a big arse but even that was toned.

I've been a poser for f--ing years. I say, pose your arse off. You know, have a laugh.

A fart is just your arse applauding.

I'm a big fan of the Mars Bar Diet. You don't eat the Mars bar, you stick it up your arse and let a rottweiler chase you home.

People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.

To plunder, to lie, to show your arse, are three essentials for climbing high.

If his Majesty is resolved to have my head, he may make a whistle of my arse if he pleases.

Now I'm not an expert at mathematics, but I calculated it would take at least three of me to take on one third of one of them, even if they were attacking me with just their arse.

Yeah, arrest that man on the crime of having 8 Chicken McNuggets stuck up his arse.

I do ride a bicycle occasionally, but not those stupid stationary ones you see in gyms. I do have one of those, I must confess, but its quite literally a pain in the arse, so I dont use it.

If I could dance like the ladies can, it would have been my arse on your screens

All my friends seem to be smart arses. Don't ask me why. Like many things, it is what it is.

As for Gordon Brown - I've described him and Blair as two cheeks of the same arse.

Whoever designed this frigging map was having a laugh. Just around the corner, my arse.

The only thing I get from the theatre is a sore arse.

Having just had a baby, I'm not going to be thinking about my arse.

I thought the fart was a human thing. It's something to do with like, arse cheeks, or whatever.

I've always wanted to kick a duck up the arse

It takes a bomb under his arse to make Hitler see logic.

An ample arse helps you to be weighed down and be grounded.

I'll tell you what pressure is. Pressure is a Messerschmitt up your arse. Playing cricket is not.

A Duke couldn't have the arse hanging out of his trousers when meeting foreign diplomats. Actually even plain old Sam Vimes never had the arse hanging out of his trousers, either, but no one would have actually started a war if he had.

The only thing I wouldn't do is sell my arse.

The only thing I can do is wipe my arse, brush my teeth, turn up and do the best work I can.

The other man's arse is always cleaner!

It's interesting to see the dislocation between how people perceive a person visually. Apparently on the radio I'm blonde with a big arse.

If you want to get on in life get off your arse because it ain't going to come to you. And if it does come to you and you're not off your arse then you ain't going to keep it very long.

The greatest monarch on the proudest throne is obliged to sit upon his own arse.