Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.
Guilt, remorse. It's what separates us from the animals.
Fame was like a drug. But what was even more like a drug were the drugs.
Operator! Give me the number for 911!
I've always wondered if there was a God. And now I know there is -- and it's me.
The strong must protect the sweet.
I was working on a flat tax proposal and accidentally proved there was no God.
Good things don't end in -eum; they end in -mania or -teria.
If it doesn't have siamese twins in a jar, it is not a fair.
Pffft, English. Who needs that? I'm never going to England.
Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow
But you can't stop at one, you wanna drink another woman!
If something's hard to do, then it's not worth doing.
Homer no function beer well without.
Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix.
But Marge, what if we chose the wrong religion? Each week we just make God madder and madder.
Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals ... except the weasel.
I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman. Homer Simpson
I thought I had an appetite for destruction, but all I wanted was a club sandwich.
Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?
It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you place the blame.