Aries Spears
Aries Spears
Aries Spearsis an American stand-up comedian, actor, voice artist, and comedian. Spears was a regular on Fox's sketch comedy series MADtv, appearing in 198 episodes, making him the second longest-serving cast member on the show falling behind Michael McDonald. He recently released a special called Aries Spears: Hollywood, Look I'm Smiling...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionTV Actor
Date of Birth3 April 1975
CountryUnited States of America
nuts asks
How do you ask a woman to gargle your nuts?
drinking coffee boys
I like to go to the frat house and drink with my white friends, because anytime you go drinking at the frat house, white boys bring you a drink and hand it to you like it's a top CIA secret. They'll hand me my drink, and I'll go, 'Man, what the hell is in this?' 'Dude, don't worry. Don't ask, just drink it. I'll see you in 20 minutes.' Next thing you know, I'm buck naked, standing on a coffee table, with a cowboy hat.
new-york sound tough
I'm from the streets of New York. I know what tough talk sounds like.
jordan comedy range
Eddie Murphy was the Michael Jordan of comedy. He had a full range of abilities.
thinking able comedy
Because it's uncensored cable, I think we'll be able to do the kind of sketch comedy that really hasn't been seen before. We can actually finish jokes.
That's where the money is, on the road.
thinking long bars
I think Chappelle set the bar when he came out with his show. To be as great as him or greater you have to push it a little further - as long as there's substance in terms of the material.
funny comedy commit
Ladies Commit, There's A Wedding In It For You.
thinking light cds
I know when the anthrax thing hit - white people, y'all was very nervous. Y'all would come up to me at work and warn me, like 'Oh my God, Aries, be careful. Don't open your mail.' Let me tell you something - black folks was never worried about anthrax because, half the time, we don't open our mail no way. We might think that's a bill. We might hold it to the light and go, 'That's a red slip.' If you want to get us with anthrax, put that in a Jay-Z CD. That's how you get us.
white people black
We are all a little bit racist. White people, y'all are the first people to denounce it. I'm not racist. I'm incapable of being racist. My best friend is black... He's also my chauffeur, but he's my best friend.
fall comedy structure
There's got to be structure and great comedy. When you start with that, everything else falls into place.
people connections audience
The best part about being a stand-up is the connection with the audience. There's nothing more gratifying then when you can make 300 people applaud and stand up - because that's all you.
exaggeration-is average everyday-things
The average comedian is kind of an observer looking at everyday things that everyone could relate to and then trying to find the exaggeration in those things.
doors used momma
My momma used to kick in the door like SWAT!