John Mortimer
John Mortimer
Sir John Clifford Mortimer, CBE, QC was an English barrister, dramatist, screenwriter, and author...
NationalityEnglish
ProfessionNovelist
Date of Birth21 April 1923
peaceful world murderer
Murderers have usually killed the one person in the world that was bugging them and they're usually quite peaceful and agreeable.
years lunch pigs
On the three pigs he and his wife own: "We acquired the pigs last year. My wife was born on a pig farm and has always been very fond of pigs. Of course, they are for eating, which is why they are named Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner. You wouldn’t want to eat Rufus, Marcus and Esmeralda.
success thinking done
I don't think you ever feel a success really because everything could always be done better than you've done it...
judging justice suffering
Irritable Judges suffer from a bad case of premature adjudication.
running children party
Writing about the indignities of old age: the daunting stairway to the restaurant restroom, the benefits of a wheelchair in airports and its disadvantages at cocktail parties, giving the user what he described as a child's-eye view of the party and a crotch-level view of the guests. Dying is a matter of slapstick and pratfalls. The aging process is not gradual or gentle. It rushes up, pushes you over and runs off laughing. No one should grow old who isn't ready to appear ridiculous.
character
Success is good for the character.
hate england hats
To escape jury duty in England, wear a bowler hat and carry a copy of the Daily telegraph.
theatre tragedy revolution
Farce is tragedy played at a thousand revolutions per minute.
writing found bores
The only rule I have found to have any validity in writing is not to bore yourself.
good-life children class
The worst fault of the working classes is telling their children they're not going to succeed, saying: There is life, but it's not for you.
beauty lonely class
No power on earth, however, can abolish the merciless class distinction between those who are physically desirable and the lonely, pallid, spotted, silent, unfancied majority.
loyalty school parent
Loyalty to the school to which your parents pay to send you seemed to me like feeling loyalty to Selfridges.
moving way accompany
Rumpole, you must move with the times." "If I don't like the way the times are moving, I shall refuse to accompany them.
funny humor ideas
I knew nothing about farce until I read Puce a l'Oreille, and had no idea what a deadly serious business it is.