Les Dawson
Les Dawson
Leslie "Les" Dawson, Jr. was an English comedian, actor, writer, and presenter, who is best remembered for deadpan style, curmudgeonly persona and jokes about his mother-in-law and wife...
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth2 February 1931
growing-up wind eggs
A square egg in a dish of lentils won't make a marrow bend with the wind, nor will it make rhubarb grow up the milkmaid's leg.
witty doctors wind
I went to my doctor and asked for something for persistent wind. He gave me a kite.
couple finish marriage
Marriage is an institution and that's where a couple finish up.
slumps bother
Slumps don't bother me.
mother law wrinkles
My mother-in-law has so many wrinkles, when she smiles she looks like a Venetian blind.
funny-things tunnels wife
Funny thing how you first meet the woman that you marry. I first met the wife in a tunnel of love. She was digging it.
personal-things
How can you analyse what is funny? What's funny to one isn't funny to another... What's funny to you is a personal thing.
wife thank-god hissing
I discovered the wife's got asthma. Thank God - I thought she was hissing at me.
names linked knows
I know my name will always be linked with women.
powerful feminist facts
Despite the fact that feminists say they're not getting a fair deal, women are still very powerful.
zero numbers tribes
There is a remote tribe that worships the number zero. Is nothing sacred?
mother law centre
The mother-in-law is the centre of a family.
shields red faces
I'm the most unromantic lump of Northern suet. Yes, a woman did accost me once in South Shields, but she had a face like Red Rum.
mother hands law
My mother-in-law's so fat that when she passes her handbag from hand to hand she throws it.