Michael Flanders Quotations

I am going to be very critical of new positions, ... unless we can stop the bleeding.

If God had intended us to fly, he would never have given us the railroads.

If God had intended us to fly, he'd have never given us railways.

In July the Sun is hot. Is it shining? No, it's not!

Always be sincere, whether you mean it or not.

January brings the snow / Makes your feet and fingers glow / February's ice and sleet / Freeze the toes right off your feet / Welcome March with wintry wind / Would thou wer't not so unkind / April brings the sweet spring showers / On and on for hours and hours...

A Bradypus or Sloth am I, / I live a life of ease, / Contented not to do or die / But idle as I please.

If God had intended us to fly he would have given us railways.

One of the great problems of the world today is undoubtedly this problem of not being able to talk to scientists, because we don't understand science; they can't talk to us because they don't understand anything else, poor dears.

Eating people is wrong.

The English, the English, The English are best: So Up with the English and Down with the Rest!

The purpose of satire has been rightly stated as to strip off the veneer of comforting illusion and cosy half truth, and our job, as I see it, is to put it back again!