Stan Freberg Quotations

When he was a little kid, he was a fat, spoiled kid. I can tell the type.

People are amazed to see that I wrote all the words and music myself to 'Stan Freberg Presents The United States Of America.'

I was turning down cigarette campaigns before it became fashionable. I wouldn't let CBS Radio sell 'The Stan Freberg Show' to R.J. Reynolds and American Tobacco, which had sponsored Jack Benny, the man I replaced.

Most folks call 'em green onions, but they're really scallions!

Will you let me talk? I'll have to learn the language all over again!

The decision as to what's funny and what is not funny shall rest solely with Mr. Freberg.

You have to prove that the Freberg way will sell their product better than if they just did straight advertising. Whenever I give a lecture or seminar, that's what I try to get across to people. I hear very few radio commercials that sound like I could have written them or that they got the idea.

Say that was a nice number, you kids get a pretty good sound out of them moccasins!

A lot of television stuff is mean-spirited, and I think that's how political advertising got so mean-spirited, to where people are throwing things at the television set every time we have an election.

I trained my son to be a puppeteer since he was a little boy.

I had a scholarship to Stanford because I won three California Speech tournaments. Before I started Stanford, I told my mother I wanted to take a bus into Hollywood and see if I could get an agent.

If you don't like an ad, why should anybody else?... We're all consumers... That's why I always create commercials for myself first of all. I am the consumer I know best. If I think it's a great commercial, I figure the rest of the people might think so, too. I haven't been wrong so far.

I believe all of my talents come from the Lord. All of my talents are God-given - that's how I was able to write music without any professional musical training.

You can make sounds and music out of pretty much anything with a little imagination and putting your mind to it!

All women are troublemakers who take the money their husbands need desperately for a new and better speaker, and selfishly squander it on things like shoes for the children, homogenized milk, or perhaps A SECOND DRESS!

Well, we're all a little hostile every now and then, some of us are able to sublimate, others of us can't adjust. You know how it is...

The story of Little Blue Riding Hood is true. Only the color has been changed to prevent an investigation.

Who are taking to the witch burning Saturday night?

Black is a great color!!! it sets off your wig!

Most folks call them green onions, but they're really scallions.