Stephen Colbert
Stephen Colbert
Stephen Tyrone Colbert is an American comedian, writer, producer, actor, media critic, and television host. He currently hosts the late-night television talk show The Late Show with Stephen Colbert on CBS...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionTV Show Host
Date of Birth13 May 1964
CountryUnited States of America
confused home men
If women are breadwinners and men bring home the bacon, why do people complain about having no dough? I'm confused. Also hungry.
funny work littles
I hold a little fundraiser every day. Its called going to work.
inspirational remember forget
There's an old saying about those who forget history. I don't remember it, but it's good.
grief mean thinking
The interesting thing about grief, I think, is that it is its own size. It is not the size of you. It is its own size. And grief comes to you. You know what I mean? I’ve always liked that phrase “He was visited by grief,” because that’s really what it is. Grief is its own thing. It’s not like it’s in me and I’m going to deal with it. It’s a thing, and you have to be okay with its presence. If you try to ignore it, it will be like a wolf at your door.
book world pages
Used books are the sluts of the literary world. Passed around from person to person, spreading their pages for anyone, getting cheaper and cheaper until eventually they end up in prison.
suicide men blow
Give a man a suicide bomb, he blows up once. Teach a man to suicide bomb, he also blows up once.
perception matter facts
It used to be, everyone was entitled to their own opinion, but not their own facts. But that's not the case anymore. Facts matter not at all. Perception is everything.
character law limits
NC passed law against global warming science, therefore it's not happening. So I'm ignoring Twitter's 140-character limit, so it's not happ
numbers devil letters
I've said it before: equations are the devil's sentences. The worst one is that quadratic equation, an infernal salad of numbers, letters, and symbols.
wine men mouths
Christianity is the best way to cure gayness—just get on your knees, take a swig of wine, and accept the body of a man into your mouth.
dinner offensive persons
You cannot correct an old person every time they say something offensive. You would never make it through Thanksgiving dinner!
america leader hungry
Of course! Jeb Bush! America is hungry for another leader from that talented family!
community love-of-money ifs
If you love friends, you will serve your friends. If you love community, you will serve your community. If you love money, you will serve your money. And if you love only yourself, you will serve only yourself. And you will have only yourself.
christian jesus selfish
If this is going to be a Christian nation that doesn't help the poor, either we have to pretend that Jesus was just as selfish as we are, or we've got to acknowledge that He commanded us to love the poor and serve the needy without condition and then admit that we just don't want to do it.