One night I asked a cabbie to take me where the action is, he took me to my house.
A travel agent told I could spend 7 nights in HAWAII no days just nights.
I was making love to my wife the other night, I looked up. She was on the phone.
One night I came home. I figured, let my wife come on. I'll play it cool. Let her make the first move. She went to Florida.
Women my age just don't turn me on. That's another problem with getting older. I took out an older woman the other night, and I mean old. I told her, Act your age. She died.
You know you're old when your family talk about you in front of you. What are we going to do with Pop? We have company tonight.
The other night a mugger took off his mask and made me wear it.
I once dated a girl that was wild. She was so wild that one night she gave her phone number to the mechanical bull.
I tell ya, my wife, we get along good cause we have our own arrangement. I mean, one night a week I go out with the boys and one night a week, she goes out with the boys.
All my wife and I do is fight about sex. The other night, we really had it out. Well, I'll put it this way - I had it out.
My wife has teeth like the stars... they come out at night.
One night she told me to put out the garbage. I told her "you cooked it, you take it out".
They took a survey: Why do men get up in the middle of the night? Ten percent get up to go to the bathroom and 90 percent get up to go home.
With sex my wife thinks twice before she turns me down. Yeah, once in the morning and once at night.