George Carlin Drug Quotations

If a drug has anything going for it at all, it should be self-limiting. It should tell you when you've had enough.

All the wrong things for all the wrong reasons. Sometimes people just want to feel different. And so long as Third World peasants are poor they will send us drugs, and as long as we are empty we will ask for this little plant.

Besides the drugs and counterculture, I started talking about myself, which is the first thing you do when you are a writer.

Why is there so much controversy about drug testing? I know plenty of guys who would be willing to test any drug they could come up with

The seven dwarfs were each on different little trips. Happy was into grass and grass alone ... Happy, that's all he did. Sleepy was into reds. Grumpy, too much speed. Sneezy was a full blown coke freak. Doc was a connection. Dopey was into everything. Any old orifice will do for Dopey. He's always got his arm out and his leg up. And then, the one we always forget, because he was Bashful. Bashful didn't use drugs. He was paranoid on his own. Didn't need any help on that ladder.

The US Army has announced that although it is true they performed mind-destroying drug tests on hundreds of soldiers in the 1960s, none of the victims have been promoted beyond the rank of lieutenant colonel.

Religion is like drugs, it destroys the thinking mind.