Chris Rock People Quotations

The thing that surprised me the most is just how much money women that weren't rich were paying for their hair. When you're in a beauty parlor in Harlem next to abandoned buildings and somebody's paying five grand for a weave, that's a bit much. I think this is, in a weird way, part of the health care debate. It's like, hmm, there's people with $2000 weaves that could have bought health care with that weave money.

Jokes rot. They're not like songs. I always envy singers - Sting is always going to sing 'Roxanne'. But people want to hear new jokes. I've written jokes as good as 'Roxanne', I believe. But I can't tell them again.

I realized with Broadway everything written for black people is usually written in the past, and I'm kind of a contemporary guy. I don't think you want to see me in 'Raisin in the Sun'.

Only married people understand you can be miserable and happy at the same time.

I have no idea what my best material is. Different people like different things. I'll say this: The political stuff gets the press, but the relationship jokes sell all the seats.

Sometimes people offer you plays, they offer you parts, but they only offer it because I'm famous.

You don't need a critic to tell you people aren't laughing.

We've all heard the question. Why didn't these people just leave when they had the chance? But now we realize that not everybody can just jump into their SUVs and drive to a nice hotel. These people depend on public transportation and these people can't afford a nice hotel, because some of them work there. Now it's your chance to help them.

We've all heard the question, ... Why didn't these people just leave when they had the chance? But now we realize that not everybody can just jump into their SUVs and drive to a nice hotel. These people depend on public transportation and these people can't afford a nice hotel, because some of them work there. Now it's your chance to help them.

Relax, you only have to be nice to black people for two more hours.

Yeah, I love being famous. It's almost like being white, y'know? People are nice to ya, they give you the beneift o' the doubt... You drive a flash car down the freeway and the cops'll pull y'over and before they even look they like 'What the f**k are you doing?' and then they see it's you and they like 'Awww man, it's Chris Rock, it's okay, man we thought you was a nigga'.

It's like, hmm, there's people with $2000 weaves that could have bought health care with that weave money. They don't have insurance. People want what they want. And I guess that is a reason we have this big credit card problem and a lot of these foreclosures.

Not everyone can jump in their SUV's and go check into a nice hotel. Those people depend on public transportation... Now it's the time to do something for them.

These people depend on public transportation, and these people can't afford a nice hotel, because some of them work there. Now it's your chance to help them.

I met so many people after I got rich and famous, and I learned that you can't ultimately trust people unless they were your friends when you were broke.

I see as white people finding loopholes in the slavery laws.

I think all the funny people were bullied. When they talk about outlawing bullying, it's like, what? You want no Comedy Central?

You know, you get famous and you work in these weird jobs and you don't have a lot in common with people. But once you have kids, you have everything in common with everybody.

You're not famous unless people's mothers know who you are. Everybody else, you think you're famous, but you're just hot, and heat cools off.

You only know that you're smart because you're around dumb people from time to time!

There's always a moment in any stand-up show I do where people are booing. They kinda boo a premise. And then I bail myself out with a joke. But it's like trying to do movies where there's a dramatic undertone.

America is the only place where people go hunting on a full stomach.

I used to have horrible cars that would always end up broken down on the highway. When I tried to flag someone down, nobody stopped. But if I pushed my own car, other drivers would get out and push with me. If you want help, help yourself - people like to see that.

People want what they want. And I guess that is a reason we have this big credit card problem and a lot of these foreclosures.

I'll probably pay more attention to the musicians in the pit than the stars because they're the closest you're going to get to normal people in the audience.

See Relationships are hard, man. For order, for any relationship to work, both people have to be on the same page, both people have to have the same focus, and we all know what that page is. We all know what that focus is. In order for the relationship to work both people have to have the same focus, and what's that focus? That focus is all about HER! It's all about her!

We got no wealthy black people. We got rich people. Shaq is rich. The guy who signs his checks is wealthy.

Why do people do yoga? To clear their minds? I embrace the clutter in my head.

Smart is knowing if you're dumb. Knowing when to shut up and to listen to people that are smarter than you.

I love black people, but I hate niggers.

There's not one reference in that thing that doesn't play. People deal with emotions in music all the time, but comedians are always talking about what they see. But we seldom talk about what we feel.

An entertainer's reputation as a live act is the most valuable thing he or she can have. If people know you give good shows, you'll never be broke for the rest of your life.

People basically aren't that racist. They want their laughs. If I make a white guy laugh, he's gonna come see me. He's not gonna go see the white guy who doesn't make him laugh just because that guy is white.

I love seeing black people do normal things, being judged as normal people.

The only reaction that frightens me is people not laughing. It's extraordinary to me when you get a laugh. That you can go in front of a bunch of people you never met before, you can say some stuff and they all laugh in unison - that's amazing. It's a miracle.

I just remember that whenever I got really mad or passionate, like in an argument, people would laugh, and I'd be dead serious. It would happen a lot. So it was like, Gee, I've got something here.

I never watched the Oscars. Come on, it's a fashion show . . . What straight black man sits there and watches the Oscars? Show me one. And they don't recognize comedy, and you don't see a lot of black people nominated, so why should I watch it?

When you make comedy, you make it for the people and you try to have as many screenings and as many tests and you do focus groups and you read the cards and you try to give the people what they want in this comedy.

When people try to read between the lines - critics, they have a job. Their job is to make something bigger than it is.

Comedy is the blues for people who can’t sing.

Stand-up is the only career like that where once you get really big at it, people kind of encourage you not to do it.

If your work is so smart that only smart people get it, it's not that smart.

If poor people knew how rich rich people are, there would be riots in the streets,

I get approached to do shows all the time. There's a lot of money in sitcoms, but I've never been the kind of guy who wanted to do one. I don't think people want to see me saying "Honey, I'm home." It's just not my thing.

Most people don't realize this, but you can eat organic, all natural, gluten-free food without telling everyone around you.

People are always going to, you know, find something wrong with people who are not the exact same as them. That's just what it is. Black, white, short, tall, religions, whatever. People are bad.

People are the same wherever you go. And if they weren't, they wouldn't laugh at the same s**t.

There are people who would like to get rid of minimum wage. But we have to have it, because if we didn't some people would not get paid money. They would work all week for two loaves of bread and some Spam.

Standup comedians are attracted to one another because of their faults. So we're all kind of messed up in the same way, and once I was around a group of people that saw the world in a different way, it's like this is where I need to be.

You want to work with people who are excited about doing the show. I didn't get the sense that she wanted to do it just because I was involved in it. She just really liked the script, and I responded to that.