Jeff Foxworthy School Quotations

You know, I remember Career Day in high school. I remember plumbers and lawyers... I don't remember a booth where you could sign up to learn how to shoot chickens out of a cannon at the windshield of an airplane, 'cause there would have been a line at my school to do that!

People would say, Can we develop a sitcom around you? and I would say, Not interested. I'm very happy doing standup and writing and taking my kids to school.

You might be a redneck if you dated your daddy's current wife in high school.

You might be a redneck if... your high school basketball game got rained out.

You might be a redneck if your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack.

Hell, when I was in high school, a drive-by shooting meant somebody had their rear end hanging out a car window!

You might be a redneck if your satellite dish payment delays buying school clothes for the kids.

You might be a redneck if your mother has been involved in a fist fight at a high school sports event.

You might be a redneck if your classes at school were cancelled because the path to the restroom was flooded.

I've got keys to crap I've never owned. You put all my keys together I could be a high school janitor tonight.