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Sen. Stepp We're making a difference and doing something right. If a sex offender is near my kid's school, I want to know.
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Kathleen Wynne I do not believe that the people of Ontario judge their leaders on the basis of race, sexual orientation, colour or religion. I don't believe they hold that prejudice in their hearts.
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F. Stone What we're saying is, there are certain types of sexually explicit material that we don't think are appropriate.
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Mary Harron When we couldn't find the right person, we decided to abandon preconceptions and look at people we hadn't thought of. She came in and her very first audition was so wonderful, so magical. She had this sweetness and innocence, but also something sexy and a little dark.
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Dr. Jain We found that only 8 percent of people would use pre-implantation sex selection for non-medical reasons.
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Wendy Murphy We're going to hear from the defense about her background, her mental health, whether she's ever had sex before,
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Granth Sahib With my mouth I speak slander, day and night. I spy on the houses of others - I am such a wretched low-life! Unfulfilled sexual desire and unresolved anger dwell in my body, like the outcasts who cremate the dead. I live as a wild hunter, O Creator!
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Daniel Tosh Much like Down Syndrome, red hair is a genetic mutation, and it occurs when a human has unprotected sex with a clown.
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Kevin Young When we were making our run it was fun. Everybody's game changed. Everybody was playing together. If this team can get that it would be awesome.
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Jon Scieszka When I was one day old, I learned how to read. When I was two days old, I started to write. By the time I was three, I had finished 212 short stories, 38 novels, 730 poems, and one very funny limerick, all before breakfast.
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Chelsea Peretti When I was in New York, I got to see Joan Rivers do an hour of material, and it blew my mind. I don't remember how old she was at the time, but she just had this edgy hour that had so much funny stuff in it, and she was so fearless. If you only watch her on the red carpet, you don't get a sense of what a legendary standup comedian she is.
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Michael Keaton When I was in improv workshops or doing stand-up or writing comedy with others, or just doing comedy, I just laughed. Funny was funny; I loved to laugh. I always liked people I found generally funny.
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Miles Teller When I was in high school, there was 'Superbad' and 'The Girl Next Door' and 'Wedding Crashers' and all these great movies. You hope to be a part of something that's smart, funny and in that Todd Phillips-vein. You want to make something like 'Superbad.' That movie was so good and so funny.
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Sam Claflin When I was in high school, I was a bad singer. I mean, all my early acting was musical theater, and my first ever show was 'Jesus Christ Superstar.' Everyone's familiar with it. I played priest number 3 and sang so out of tune that it's not even funny.
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Nicky Hilton When I was a kid I had this funny blond hair and everyone called me 'Chick' because I looked like Tweety Bird.
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Romola Garai When I was a child, I always wanted to be funny and to please people in my family. As you grow up that instinct becomes more refined, but it's still there.
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Jerry Cantrell We're making it up as we go along. It's what we always did in the past. We're writing the book as we live it. We feel confident that we will have a good time and that it's something that will live up to the same level. It's an exploratory thing, and we're just having fun with it. We'd like to go out and play for the people that supported us and love the music as much as we have all these years. We want to celebrate what we did and the memory of our friend.
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Al McGuire The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
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Chevy Chase Parrots make great pets. They have more personality than goldfish
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Charlaine Harris You've reached Fantasia, where the undead live again every night," "For bar hours, press one. To make a party reservation, press two. To talk to alive person or a dead vampire, press three. Or, if you were intending to leave a humorous prank message on our answering machine, know this: we will find you.
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Charles M. Schulz Try not to have a good time... this is supposed to be educational.
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Bill Mauldin I drew pictures for and about the soldiers because I knew what their life was like and understood their gripes. I wanted to make something out of the humorous situations which come up even when you don't think life could be any more miserable.
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William Shakespeare Thou slave, thou wretch, thou coward! Thou little valiant, great in villainy! Thou ever strong upon the stronger side! Thou Fortune's champion, that dost never fight But where her humorous ladyship is by To teach thee safety.
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Cal Thomas Asking politicians to give up a source of money is like asking Dracula to forsake blood.
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Cathy Guisewite Defy your own group. Rebel against yourself.
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Casey Stengel Okay everybody, line up in alphabetical order according to your height.