George Burns Witty Quotations

I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.

Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.

I would read Playboy more often, but my glasses keep steaming up.

I must be getting absent-minded. Whenever I complain that things aren't what they used to be, I always forget to include myself.