Greg Behrendt Thinking Quotations

I always tell people it's funny that they think I'm a relationship expert because my two books are about getting out of relationships.

How many presidents, do you think, ever said to another guy: 'I can't believe we're doing this in the White House'?

I always say that I love magic but I hate magicians. I like being fooled. If you wave your hands in front of my face and I think you're doing a trick, I'm easily impressed. If you pull a quarter out of my ear, I'm quite certain you're a wizard. But I don't like the way most magicians don't act like they're magical; they act like show business dicks.

If my father is walking around going, 'Mmm, pussy,' he's thinking about eating the cat.

Here's something else to think about: calling when you say you're going to is the very first brick in the house you are building of love and trust. If he can't lay this one stupid brick down, you ain't never gonna have a house baby, and it's cold outside.