Andy Borowitz Technology Quotations

Twitter is currently valued at $8 billion, or $1 for every hour it has wasted.

Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Give a man Twitter, and he will forget to eat and starve to death.

Getting your news from Twitter is like asking a cat for directions.

Thanks to the Internet, people we might have only suspected of being idiots can now give us ample evidence.

It used to be that people could be painfully boring in private. Facebook changed all that.

I've invented Twofacebook, the antisocial network. You start being friends w/entire world & defriend people one by one.