Fred Allen Life Quotations

I don't want to own anything that won't fit into my coffin.

An actor's popularity is fleeting. His success has the life expectancy of a small boy who is about to look into a gas tank with a lighted match.

Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men whose only objective is to make a hole in one with you.

The world is a grindstone and life is your nose

He dreamed he was eating shredded wheat and woke up to find the mattress half gone.