Fred Allen Work Quotations

A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing, but who, as a group, can meet and decide that nothing can be done.

A molehill man is a pseudo-busy executive who comes to work at 9 AM and finds a molehill on his desk. He has until 5 PM to make this molehill into a mountain. An accomplished molehill man will often have his mountain finished before lunch.

He writes so well he makes me feel like putting my quill back in my goose.

A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.

A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary.

When a radio comedian's program is finally finished it slinks down Memory Lane into the limbo of yesteryear's happy hours. All that the comedian has to show for his years of work and aggravation is the echo of forgotten laughter.

We take nominations from the general public, and they go through a screening and voting, which has worked very well for the most part. But it's been a less-than-perfect system for long-dead inventors who don't have a constituency to push for them.