Sarcastic Quotations | Page 5

She's descended from a long line her mother listened to.

Don't be humble... you're not that great.

Debating against him is no fun, say something insulting and he looks at you like a whipped dog.

For some are in the habit of carrying about the name in wicked guile, while they still practice things unworthy of God. You must flee these as you would wild beasts. For they are ravening dogs, who bite secretly, against whom you must be on your guard, since they are men who can scarcely be cured.

A woman's preaching is like a dog's walking on his hinter legs. It is not done well; but you are surprised to see it done at all.

And now I'm using sarcasm, to confess the whole thing so later I could say I already told you.

Oh, look at me! I'm making people happy! I'm the Magical Man from Happy-Land, in a gumdrop house on Lollipop Lane! Oh, by the way, I was being sarcastic.

She should get a divorce and settle down.

You couldn't tell if she was dressed for an opera or an operation.

She is a water bug on the surface of life.

An editor should have a pimp for a brother so he'd have someone to look up to.

If you are patient...and wait long enough...Nothing will happen

He has such a patronizing tone and manner, and such a sarcastic sense of humor. I found him rather brutal, a kind of elegant brutality which appealed. No, I think he came pretty much off the page.

I'm really good at being sarcastic with guys. That's the best way to hang out with them, because that's what guys . They don't want the quiet, prissy little things.

She realized that this scarred, sarcastic boy, was gentle with the things he loved.

I thought I'd lie on the floor and writhe in pain for a while," he grunted, "It relaxes me." "It does? Oh - you're being sarcastic. That's a good sign probably.

He must have killed a lot of men to have made so much money.

He was so narrow minded he could see through a keyhole with both eyes.

Why are we honoring this man? Have we run out of human beings?

Somehow I found him. Somehow I found Al's sarcastic thoughts, bitter and old. Tired, angry, bored. Alone.

Sarcasm doesn't read sarcastic in print.

Useless as a pulled tooth.

Character is what someone does, much more than who they are. I can be sarcastic or I can be fearful, but it doesn't really matter until there's a story - until someone comes in and holds us hostage.

She spends her day powdering her face till she looks like a bled pig.

He could never see a belt without hitting below it.

She tells enough white lies to ice a wedding cake.

He's very clever, but sometimes his brains go to his head.

I'm a sarcastic person. I learn through humor.

A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.

The snow may be falling in the winter of my discontent, but at least I've got sarcastic company.

He was either a man of about a hundred and fifty who was rather young for his years, or a man of about a hundred and ten who had been aged by trouble.

It's always darkest before it turns absolutely pitch black.

I’ll keep it short and sweet - Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.

Nonetheless, I can't help but be flattered that you noticed the latest addition to my collection," he said. She rolled her eyes. "Because personal injuries are such a dignified thing to collect." "Are all governesses so sarcastic?

Some people don't get it when I'm being sarcastic.

Writers are interesting people, but often mean and petty.

This is what happened in love. One of you cried a lot and then both of you grew sarcastic.

Americans are possibly the dumbest people on the planet. ...We Americans suffer from an enforced ignorance. We don't know about anything that's happening outside our country. Our stupidity is embarrassing.

He must have had a magnificent build before his stomach went in for a career of its own.

My son Cooper has just turned ten and the sarcasm fairy has already started to take up residence inside his body. Not only am I living with my mother - again! - but I've also got her mini-me to contend with.

You're constantly, in human culture, trying to balance between uplifting, heartfelt, sincere, earnestness that empowers and enlightens people, and the sarcastic cynicism that comes from just people's acquired bitterness over experiences.

He never bore a grudge against anyone he wronged.

Whoa, what is this? Battle of the Sarcastic and Pissed? Should I make popcorn? Forget American Idol, man. This is much more entertaining. (Kish)

She never was really charming till she died.

I thought I could make a sarcastic joke about it. But it's based on my own struggle with how much to give, how much it's really helping or not, and how foolish or not I feel. Giving sometimes backfires...

[Albert] Schweitzer thus carved out his own path through the first half of this century, a lonely and learned giant amidst the hordes of noisy and shallow theological pygmies.

He never said a foolish thing nor never did a wise one.

His face is livid, gaunt his whole body, his breath is green with gall; his tongue drips poison.

I see her as one great stampede of lips directed at the nearest derriere.

She had much in common with Hitler, only no mustache.

He's completely unspoiled by failure.

The cat looked as if it were about to say something sarcastic. Then it flicked its whiskers and said, "Challenge her. There's no guarantee she'll play fair, but her kind of thing loves games and challenges.

He is so stupid you can't trust him with an idea.

This is one of those big, fat paperbacks, intended to while away a monsoon or two, which, if thrown with a good overarm action, will bring a water buffalo to its knees.

We are suffering from too much sarcasm.

Sarcasm doesn't translate in print at all.

I don't want to get too much into my personal relationships but I will say I am actually doing the single thing right now. I want someone that I can have fun with and laugh with. I love to laugh and I'm really sarcastic, so it's important that she can take a joke. I think if you are going to be with someone for a while you really need someone you can let loose with and let go of all the stress of the day.

It goes Christmas, New Year's Eve, Valentine's Day. Is that fair to anyone who's alone? These are all days you gotta be with someone. And if you didn't get around to killing yourself at Christmas or New Year's, boom! There's Valentine's Day. I think there should be one more after Valentine's Day just called, 'Who could love you?'

It's strange that men should take up crime when there are so many legal ways to be dishonest.

The characters are so flat and the dialogue so dull you expect it to be one of those movies whose existence is justified by a big final twist. But it's three days after the screening, and still no twist. Maybe it's coming in the mail?

What you said hurt me very much. I cried all the way to the bank.

Sarcasm is lost in print.

He's so fat, he can be his own running mate.

Manuel will show you to your rooms - if you're lucky.

years ago we would have been burned for this. Now what I am suggesting is that we've advanced.

A satisfied customer. We should have him stuffed.

Oh, I could spend my life having this conversation - look - please try to understand before one of us dies

When we hold a World Championship for a particular sport, we invite teams from other countries to play as well.

The best things in life are free

You had to stand in line to hate him.

Russians will consume marinated mushrooms and vodka, salted herring and vodka, smoked salmon and vodka, salami and vodka, caviar on brown bread and vodka, pickled cucumbers and vodka, cold tongue and vodka, red beet salad and vodka, scallions and vodka-anything and everything and vodka.

I love Americans, but not when they try to talk French. What a blessing it is that they never try to talk English.

He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.

You were born with your legs apart. They'll send you to the grave in a Y-shaped coffin.

I have this odd tendency to be really sarcastic when I'm uncomfortable and I don't really know why but it just comes out and it's come out since I was a child.

We fall in love when our imagination projects nonexistent perfection upon another person. One day, the fantasy evaporates and with it, love dies.

My mother was sarcastic and delightful and, trust me, quite remarkable.

In order to know whether a human being is young or old, offer it food of different kinds at short intervals. If young, it will eat anything at any hour of the day or night.

In her single person she managed to produce the effect of a majority.

He hasn't an enemy in the world - but all his friends hate him.

If she was going to die, she might as well die sarcastic.

The Australian sense of humor is very dry, sarcastic, and very undercover. Like if I tell any jokes in America, people just think I'm serious! So I just quit telling any jokes whatsoever.

The lyrics were my sarcastic way of realizing you can't be the king of the hill all the time.

Seems like a lot of my generation as a whole is more concerned with being the cool kid; sarcastic, smug, or just all together impenetrable. So anyway, it's not always comfortable to be like, the dorky, happy girl at the party... but that's me.

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is.

There is one thing on earth more terrible than English music, and that is English painting.

She resembles the Venus de Milo: she is very old, has no teeth, and has white spots on her yellow skin.

He is the same old sausage, fizzing and sputtering in his own grease.

As I said, this was my sarcastic summer. It was only long after that I recognized sarcasm as the protest of people who are weak.

I once told a journalist that girls call me 'Kitten,' but I couldn't have been more sarcastic, and no matter how many times I've said that it was a joke, it still doesn't go away.

A house is never still in darkness to those who listen intently; there is a whispering in distant chambers, an unearthly hand presses the snib of the window, the latch rises. Ghosts were created when the first man awoke in the night.

She was a large woman who seemed not so much dressed as upholstered.

Almost all of my early art dealt with the fallout from middle-class taboos, the messy, the ambivalent emotions couples felt, the inherent racism, the sexual tensions and the unhappiness roiling below the surface of our prim suburban lives. Meanwhile I was a suburban bad boy - cynical, sarcastic, contemptuous of all authority.

He was trying to save both his faces.

Many wealthy people are little more than janitors of their possessions.

Ministers fall like buttered slices of bread: usually on their good side.

His face was filled with broken commandments.

On whether Blurred Lines' video is sexist: I don't. I really appreciate the people who watch out for that stuff, and I'm sensitive to those sort of things. On the surface level, the naked women dancing, I understand that can be perceived that way. But we're directed to have a sort of confidence, a sarcastic attitude about the whole situation.

Folks always look good in their coffins.

Usually I just let my songs do the talking. As a matter of fact I have long had an aversion to celebrities endorsing politics, and in some cases even other causes. I wonder about their motives. And I have to admit when celebrities get involved in political campaigns I tend to get a little bit sarcastic about it.