Groucho Marx American Comedian Quotations

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.

Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.

I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.

I find television very educational. Every time someone switches it on I go into another room and read a good book.

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend on reading it.

There is one way to find out if a man is honest; ask him! If he says yes you know he's crooked.