Groucho Marx Inspirational Quotations

I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.

All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?

Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now you tell me what you know.

Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.

Time wounds all heels.